بیخاڵ ئهبوبهكر
بهشی دووهم
ئاستهنگهكانی سهرهرێی ژنان و بهشدارى راستهقینهیان لهكۆمهڵگهدا
لهگهڵ ئهم راستییانهدا، گهر لهواقیعی كومهڵگهكانی ئهمرۆ بروانین، مهخابن رۆڵێكی ناكاراو پهراوێزخراوى توێژی ئافرهت، دێته بهرچاو، كه دهتوانین بڵێین لهچهند قهیرانێكدا ژیان بهسهردهبات. جارێك وهك پیاوان رووبهرووى ستهمی سیاسیی و زیان لێكهوتن لهئاسهوارهكانی گهندهڵی ههمهلایهنه، جارێكیش وهك ئافرهت رووبهرووی پهراوێزخستن و نهگێرانی رۆڵی تهواوكارانهى خۆی، دهبێتهوه. لهگهڵ بوونی چهندین دهزگا و دامهزراوه و رێكخراوه حكومی و ناحوكمیهكان، و بوونی رۆژنامه و گۆڤارى تایبهت بهپرسی ژنان، هێشتا، رهوشی ئافرهتان لهگهشهسهندنێكی بهرچاودا نییهو رۆژ لهدواى رۆژ، كێشهو گرفتی نوێ دێته كایهوه. دیاره هۆكارگهلێك لهپشت ئهم دیاردهیهوهن كهلێرهدا ئاماژه بۆ ههندێكیان دهكهین:
1- لهگهڵ بوونی رۆشنبیران و بانگهشهكردن بۆ ئازادی ئافرهت و بهدیهێنانی مافهكانی، لهسهرهتاكانی سهدهی رابردووهوه، بهڵام مهخابن ههندێكیان ههتا ئهمرۆش، (ئایین) بههۆكارى گرفتهكان دهزانن، بێ لهبهرچاوگرتنی زهمینهى ئایینی زۆرینهى رههاى خهڵكی كوردستان، به زانین بێت یان نهزانین، لهنهستی جهماوهردا ئهوهیان چهسپاندووه كه ئازادی ئافرهت و هێنانهدی خواستهكانی، پهیوهسته بهوازهێنان له ئهحكامهكانی ئایینی پیرۆزى ئیسلام و به تایبهتیش دووركهوتنهوه له باڵاپۆشی، وهك شیعرهكهی بێكهس كهدهلێت: نهسرین دهمێكه داخت له دڵمه
سهرپۆش فڕێده، چ وادهى شهرمه؟
ئهمه لههۆنراوهیهكدا كههانی كچان دهدات بۆ بهدهستهێنانی زانست و زانیارى. لهلایهكی دیكهوه، ههرچهنده نمونهى هۆنراوهكهى حاجی قادری كۆیی سهبارهت بهم پرسه ههیه:
بۆچی فهرموێتی نبی و ئهمین
اگلب العلم ولو بالصین؟
نێر ومێ لهم حهدیپه فهرقی نییه
گهر مهلا نههی فهرمو، دینی نییه
بهڵام بهداخهوه، ئهوانهش كهبۆ رێگاچارهى واقعی گهراون بۆ رزگاركردنی ئافرهت لهدابونهریته ههڵهكان، ژمارهیان كهم بووهو لهسهر ئاستی تاكهكهسیی ماوهتهوه و نهكراوهته پرۆژهیهكی ههمهلایهنه بۆ ههستانهوهى كۆمهڵگه گشتی و ژنان بهتایبهتی. بهواتایهكیتر گوتاری فیكریی چهپ و رۆژئاوا زاڵبووه بهسهر رهوشهكهدا. تاههنوكهش پرسی ژن لهنێوان مشتومریی فیكری عهلمانی و ئیسلامیداماوهتهوه بۆیه زۆرێك له رێگاچارهكان تیۆریین و ناچنه بوارى پراكتیكهوه. ههرچهنده ههندێك كارى هاوبهشی نێوان رێكخراوهكان ههیه بهڵام تائێستاش پهراوێزخستنی چالاكوان و بیرمهندان ههیه بههۆی بیركردنهوهیانهوه.
2- ئهو دواكهوتنه ژیارییهى بهسهر رۆژههڵاتدا هات، بێگومان ژنانیشی گرتهوهو ههلومهرجی نالهبارى سیاسیی و ئابوری، زهمینهى لهبار له بوارى كۆمهڵایهتی و رۆشنبیریدا نارهخسێنێت و ههتا ئهمرۆش ههست بهكهمی بهتایبهت بهرامبهر پرۆژه رۆژئاواییهكان لهسهرجهم بوارهكاندا، به ئاشكرا دیاره.
3- ههڵه تێگهیشتن یان ههڵه پراكتیزهكردنی ئهحكامهكانی ئایینی ئیسلامیی پیرۆزو تێكهڵكردنیان بهدابونهریتی نارهوای كۆمهڵگه ، كهله ئهنجامدا ژنانی پێ دهچهوسێنرێتهوه، وهك: ژن بهژن، ماره بهجاش، گهوره بهبچوك، هاوسهرگیری كچانی ناكام، كچ لهخوێندا دان، كوشتن به بیانووی شهرهفپارێزی ، و …… هتد.
4- گرنگینهدانی پێویست بهو مهسهلانهى پهیوهندی بهژنانهوه ههیه لهلایهن زانا و بیرمهنده ئیسلامییهكان لهفیقهی ئیسلامیدا.ههرچهنده بایهخ بهنوێگهریی و هێنانهكایهى بیروراى نوێ لهبوارهكانی ئابوریی و سیاسهتدا دراوه، بهڵام نوێگهریی لهبواری رۆڵ و پێگهو بهشداری ئافرهتدا، هاوچهرخی بوون نهبۆته سیمای و لهئاستی پێویستی رهورهوهى بهرهوپێش چوونی كۆمهڵگهدا، نییه، بهڵكو جهختكردنهوه تهنها لهسهر چهند مهسهلهیهكی دیاریكراو بووه وهك: فتنهى ئافرهت و باڵاپۆشی و رۆڵی ژن لهچوارچێوهى خێزان، و بواره فیقهییهكانی تایبهت بهئافرهت. گوتارى زۆرێك لهئیسلامییهكانی ئهمرۆ، ئهزمونی سهردهمیی پهیام و بانگهوازیی ئیسلامیی نهكردۆته سهرچاوهیهك بۆ هێنانهكایهى ئهزمونی نوێ كهلهسهر ههمان رێباز بروات. زۆرجار نمونه بهژنانی سهحابی دههێنرێتهوه وهك بهڵگه بۆ هاتنهدی مافهكانی ئافرهت، بهبێ ئهوهى زهمینهیهكی واقعی ساز بكرێت بۆ دوبارهبونهوهى نمونه سهركهوتووهكان له ژیانی رۆژانهدا.
5- ناكۆكی بۆچونه جیاوازهكان لهنێوان ئیسلامییهكان خۆیاندا سهبارهت بهدیدگاى راستهقینهى ئیسلامی لهههمبهر رۆڵ و پێگهی ئافرهت لهكۆمهڵگهداو ئاست و سنورى بهشداریی لهكایه جۆربهجۆرهكانی ژیاندا. بهههمانشێوهش ناروونی لهدیدگاى عهلمانیهكانیشدا ههیه كهوهڵامێكی ئاشكرایان نییه بۆ ئهو پرسیاره جهوههرییهى كه دهیانهوێت ئافرهت بهرهو كوێ بهرن ؟؟ لێرهشدا چهندین نمونه ههیه كه 180 پله بهپێچهوانهى بانگهشهكانی خۆیان، لهژیانی تایبهتی خۆیاندا ههڵسوكهوت دهكهن.
6- كهمتهرخهمیی لهدانانی میكانیزمی گونجاو بۆ كاراكردنی رۆڵی ئافرهت بهشێوازێكی هاوچهرخییانه، زۆرجار كۆر و سیمنار و كۆنفرانسهكان و راسپاردهكانیان، تهنها بۆ دهستهبژێری كۆمهڵگهیهو بێ بهدواداچوون بۆ جێبهجێكردنیان دهمێننهوه.
7- زاڵبوونی گیانی رووبهرووبونهوه و شكستهێنان بهیهكتر لهلایهن عهلمانیهكان و ئیسلامییهكان و كهمتر كاركردن لهسهر خاڵه هاوبهشهكان و دارشتنی وهك پرۆژهیهكی واقعی بۆ چارهسهركردنی كێشهو گرفتهكان.
8- كهمی پێشهنگی لێهاتوو و راستگۆ بۆ ههڵگرتنی خواست و خهمهكانی ژنان و تێكۆشانی لهخۆبوردوانه لهپێناو هێنانهدی ئامانجه رهواكاندا.
9- ههژمونی پیاوان بهسهر ناوهندهكانی بریارى سیاسیی و ئابوری و میدیایی و….هتد. و نهرهخساندنی ههلومهرج و دهرفهتی یهكسان بۆ ژنان تاوهك پیاوان گهشه بهتواناو لێهاتنهكانیان بدهن.
10- كهمتهرخهمیی لهلایهن ژنان خۆیانهوه، دیاره ئهوانیش بهشێك له دواكهوتن و كهمتهرخهمیی دهكهوێته ئهستۆیان، بهداخهوه ههوڵنهدان بۆ سودوهرگرتن لهتواناكان و خودرۆشنبیرنهكردن و بڵاوی نهخوێندهوارى رۆشنبیریی لهنێوانیاندا و متمانهنهدان بهیهكتر، لهنیشانهكانى ئهو كهمتهرخهمییهیه.
11- كورتكردنهوهى بایهخدان تهنها بهبواره كۆمهڵایهتییهكان لهلایهن ئافرهتانهوهو ههوڵنهدان بۆ گهشهدان بهتواناو لێهاتنهكانی لهبوارهكانی تری ئابوری و سیاسیی و رۆشنبیری.
12- میدیاو هۆكارهكانی راگهیاندن بهشێوازو كهناڵه جیاوازهكانییهوه، رۆڵێكی گهوره دهگێرن لهدرێژهدان بهلاوازى بهرهوپێشچوونی رهوشی ژنان. گهر سهرنجێك لهمیدیای كوردی بدهین، بهئاشكرا دهبینین، گوتارهكهى لهدوو خولگهدا دهسورێتهوه كههۆكارى قوڵبونهوهى قهیرانهكانه، ئهویش یهكهم: گوتارى شكست و لاوازى كهسێتی ئافرهته له رووبهرووبونهوهى كێشهكانی ژیاندا، دووهمیش گوتارى جهسته و زهقكردنهوهى رۆڵی مێینهیی ئافرهته. ئهم گوتارانهش خهباتی رێكخراوه و چالاكوانانی بوارى ژنان بهفیرۆَدهدهن، چونكه وێنهیهكی لاواز بۆ كهسێتی ئافرهت له نهستی كۆمهڵگهدا، دهكێشن.
13- به ئامانجگرتنی ئافرهت لهگوتارو پهیام و ئامادهبوونی كارو چالاكی رێكخراوهكاندا، بهبێ كاركردن لهسهر رهگهزى بهرامبهر. ههندێك جاریش بهمهبهست بێت یان بێ مهبهست، ناوهرۆكی گوتارهكان، زیان به پهیوهندی نێوان ههردوو رهگهزو پهیوهندییه خێزانیهكان دهگهیهنێت. لهبری برهودان بهرێزو خۆشهویستی و تهبایی و گێرانی رۆڵی تهواوكاری بۆ یهكتر، ئهوهندهی تر پانتایی و دووری نێوان ژن و پیاو فراوانتر دهكهن و واههست دهكرێت كهژنان، سهنگهرى دژایهتیان له پیاوان گرتووه.
پێشنیار و راسپاردهكان
1- كاركردن بۆ پتهوكردنی رایهڵهكانی گفتوگۆ لهمهر پرسهكانی ژن و دانانی رێگاچارهى گرفتهكان، لهنێوان تهوژمه فیكرییه جیاوازهكان و برهودان بهگیانی یهكتر قبوڵكردن و رێزگرتن لهراى بهرامبهرو كاركردن لهسهر خاڵه هاوبهشهكان.
2- كاركردن بۆ بنبركردنی ئهو دابونهریته ههڵانهى كهبهرگی پیرۆزییان بهبهرداكراوه.
3- دانانی نهخشهرێگایهكی نیشتمانی بۆ پرسه گرنگهكان كهپهیوهندی راستهوخۆی بهژیانی ههموو تاكێكی كۆمهڵگهوه ههیه، تیایدا رۆَڵی: حكومهت، رێكخراوهكانی كۆمهڵگهى مهدهنی، دامهزراوه پهروهردهییهكان لهوانهش مزگهوت، میدیا، ههروهها ئهركی تاكهكان بهروونی دیاری بكرێت و بهدواداچوون بۆ جێبهجێكردنی بكرێت.
4- كاراتركردنی رۆڵی رێكخراوهكانی ژنان بۆ جێبهجێكردنی پرۆژهى ئهوتۆ كهرهوشی كۆمهڵگه بهگشتی و ئافرهتان بهتایبهتی بهرهوپێش ببات.
5- جهختكردنهوه لهسهر رۆڵی مرۆییانهى ژنان لهمیدیاكانداو دانانی سنور بۆ ئهو دوو گوتاره نهرێنییهى كهئێستا بهسهر رهوشی راگهیاندن لهههرێمدا زاڵه.
سهرچاوهكان
1- د. هبة رؤوف عزت، (المرأة والعمل السیاسي، رؤیة اسلامیة)، المعهد العالمي للفكر الاسلامي.
2- مصطفى الطحان ، (المرأة في موكب الدعوة) دار التوزیع ونشر الاسلامیة . الطبعة الاولى .
3- ــ د. أماني صالح، (حالة المرأة في العالم الاسلامي) ، مركز الحضارة للدراسات السیاسية.
4- ــ دندل جبر ، (المرأة والولایات العامة في السیاسة الشرعیة) دار عمار للنشر والتوزیع عمان.
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When it comes to burning fats in bodybuilding,
a mix of heavy coaching and cardio is efficient. Heavy
weights assist build muscle and improve energy, whereas
cardio aids in fat loss. Additionally, consider incorporating fat-burning
exercises into your routine. Anecdotal reviews counsel minimal side effects, but
overuse could doubtlessly result in decreased stress response,
fatigue, and low blood strain due to chronically low cortisol
ranges. Guarantee using a Testosterone and steroids bodybuilding base to achieve sufficient estradiol conversion. Whereas excess estradiol can cause water retention and
joint damage, having the appropriate quantity is essential for joint energy and lubrication.
Therefore, novices do not usually cycle Winstrol, as it may possibly trigger excessive ranges of hepatotoxicity and cardiotoxicity.
Advanced steroid users can consume dosages that
exceed one hundred mg per day; nonetheless, this presents high levels of toxicity.
Among newbie weightlifters, a testosterone-only cycle is the standard protocol.
This is because of testosterone producing substantial muscle and power features whereas causing less cardiotoxicity than other steroids.
If you’ve by no means supplemented with anabolic steroids news (https://www.eurospider.com/media/articles/comparison__crazy_bulk_dbal_Vs_dbol_max.html) earlier than the following cycle and
stack isn’t for you.
Anavar causes a significant and gradual improve in muscle mass, which makes it a favourite amongst newbies.
It isn’t as robust as different brokers so there
are smaller unwanted aspect effects. It just requires a smaller to
reasonable dose of Anavar to bring about an increase in muscle mass of course when using
the right quantity of calories daily.
Hell, even newbies can begin with a simple stack with minimal risk as long as the fundamentals of dosage, cycle size, facet effect management,
and PCT are adopted. In this kind of cycle, you utilize very excessive doses of a quantity of compounds.
This sort of cycle isn’t for the faint of coronary heart,
and customers ought to concentrate on the potential for the next threat of side effects.
There are no shortcuts, and also you won’t become a complicated person by speaking
to other folks about their steroid use as a result of each single
particular person has a unique experience with
steroids.
Comparable to 7-KETO DHEA, B-AET does not suppress the HPTA and promotes fat loss by
inhibiting cortisol. Based Mostly on private experience, B-AET presents superior results compared to 7-KETO DHEA.
Equipoise, also called Boldenone Undecylenate, is a popular injectable anabolic steroid known for its
capability to promote lean… The acquisition of Dianabol carries further dangers because of the prevalence of counterfeit products available within the market, as demonstrated by our testing.
This not only may reduce the outcomes of customers but additionally pose extra risks to
their health.
Individuals will discover this quickly despite it beginning slowly (depending on which steroid, your
dose, and the way long you utilize it). While you need to use topical androgen blockers to try
to stop hair growth, it will be a case of dropping the PED dosage or
stopping use fully for most girls. Any situation where you’re growing body/facial hair is one
where your dosage is simply too high, and the simplest fix is
the obvious one talked about above. These intramuscular injections ensure the answer is entered deep into the
muscle, which may travel steadily and safely through smaller veins rather than being placed directly into the bloodstream.
The steroids are rapidly absorbed, and fast-acting steroids can begin working as quickly as you count on them to.
If you’re committed to utilizing injectables for a full cycle
and future cycles, you’ll wish to refill on all the necessities; this includes syringes, pins, and other supplies.
This shall be efficient if one accompanies its utilization with a food regimen that is
deficient in calories. We strongly advise bodybuilders to keep away from using trenbolone due
to the doubtlessly fatal effects it might possibly trigger.
We have discovered that the risk of atherosclerosis and left ventricular hypertrophy considerably increases
with trenbolone cycles.
Dr. John Bosley Ziegler formulated Dianabol with
the intention of creating a compound extra anabolic
than testosterone however less androgenic. Arnold Schwarzenegger, also recognized as the
Austrian Oak, is believed to have utilized Dianabol,
an oral steroid, to boost his efficiency on the Mr.
Olympia stage. During testosterone supplementation, the pituitary gland signals the testes to stop
producing testosterone, contributing to hypogonadism (3).
This course of occurs due to supraphysiological levels of serum testosterone and the body
attempting to hold up homeostasis. Testosterone is androgenic in nature; thus, we commonly observe irritation of the
prostate, acne vulgaris, and male pattern baldness in sufferers.
Cypionate and enanthate injections could be less irritating
to the pores and skin than different testosterone variations, primarily
based on our expertise.
TUDCA is a natural complement that has been shown to reduce damage to the liver
and is thus beneficial. Liver toxicity is going to be extra vital in the presence of Anadrol,
an oral steroid that is C17-alpha-alkylated.
Subsequently, one strategy could be to have an AI ready if you start to notice swollen nipples.
For an SQ injection, you’ll be injecting just under the skin into fatty tissue.
A most popular spot for this type of injection is the gentle tissue of the stomach.
NPP (Nandrolone phenylpropionate) is Deca-Durabolin with a short ester, so you get much
the same results as Deca, but they come on sooner.
You will also find peptides helpful for PCT because of their results on performance and providing some
anti-catabolic protection without the negative influence on recovering your HPTA functionality.
It’s greatest to use Winstrol for shorter durations or change it out for Masteron if you want to run it for a whole normal cycle.
Heightened prolactin will kill your intercourse drive,
although this problem doesn’t have an effect on everyone who uses
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Toddler Influencers? Toddler influencers are exploited with filters.
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Work From Home Struggles? My Zoom froze on the exact frame where I looked guilty.
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Unfiltered Podcasting? Unfiltered podcasts are just therapy without co-pays.
I don’t skip ads; I philosophize through them.
I don’t exercise; I rearrange gravity.
Adult Spelling Bees? Adult spelling bees are just bars with shame.
Ultimate Survival Tip? Ultimate survival tip: don’t go outside.
Terrible Roommates? My roommate practices drums at midnight—I practice murder fantasies.
Shower Thought Philosophers? Shower thoughts are philosophy without pants.
Group chat etiquette: type “lol” while quietly reconsidering everyone.
Horrible Public Wi-Fi? Public Wi-Fi is free malware with purchase.
Unsolicited Horoscopes? Nothing ruins breakfast like someone telling you Mercury hates your coffee.
Wine Tastings? Wine tastings are just mouthwash with attitude.
Science Nerds? Science nerds love experiments, especially the ones that explode.
Rental Property Bros? Rental property bros call evictions “opportunities.”
Gatekeeping Fun? If you gatekeep fun, you’re the HOA of emotions.
I don’t brag; I footnote myself.
Breakup Playlists? My breakup playlist is just Adele judging me in surround sound.
Goodreads Arguments? Arguing on Goodreads is like dueling with bookmarks.
Juice Cleanses? Juice cleanses are just expensive diarrhea plans.
I don’t stalk; I research recreationally.
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Dog Parks? Dog parks are Tinder for people with leashes.
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Fiction Writers? Fiction writers talk to imaginary friends professionally.
National Park Instagrammers? National parks are just backdrops for yoga poses.
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Group Chat Drama? Group chats are where friendships go to die via emojis.
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Spontaneous Dance Parties? I danced in public once—strangers started a GoFundMe for rhythm lessons.
Coupon Hoarders? Extreme couponing is just hoarding with receipts.
Sibling Rivalry? Fighting with your siblings is practice for marriage—you both lose, and somehow the dog wins.
My Wi-Fi has separation anxiety.
Streetwear? Streetwear is pajamas with sneaker endorsements.
Pet Dating Apps? Pet dating apps are just barking at other dogs with Wi-Fi.
Bathroom Selfies? Bathroom selfies prove two things: lighting is king, and privacy is dead.
Social Media Blunders? Accidentally liking someone’s Instagram from 2012 is the digital equivalent of heavy breathing.
Painting Classes? Painting classes are wine tastings with brushes.
Parking Woes? I found a parking spot so small I now qualify as origami.
First World Problems? My Wi-Fi dropped, so I had to meet my family in person.
Podcasts? Podcasts are just two guys talking into voids.
Sustainable Fashion Preachers? Sustainable fashion is $400 shirts made from trash.
Traffic Jams? Traffic jams are moving nowhere expensively.
Pet Cloning Regrets? My friend cloned her cat and now has two animals ignoring her.
My calendar is fanfiction.
I don’t hoard; I archive emotions.
Hiking Gone Wrong? My “easy trail” hike turned into an episode of Survivor.
Vacation Disasters? I once stayed at a hotel so cheap the “continental breakfast” was just directions to the nearest gas station.
Bunker Building? Bunker building is DIY depression projects.
Farmers Markets? Farmers markets are where you pay triple for vegetables that still have dirt on them.
Wrong Number Texts? I replied to a wrong number once and now we’re Facebook friends.
My love life is a pilot episode.
Shelter Building? Shelter building is stacking sticks until hypothermia.
Sports Analysis? Sports analysis is men yelling with graphs.
Bake Sales? Bake sales are sugar capitalism.
TV Show Recaps? TV recaps are homework for binge-watchers.
Ghost Story Nerds? Ghost stories are Wi-Fi for the dead.
Wedding Chaos? My cousin’s wedding had two things: open bar and closed communication.
Outdoor Cooking? Outdoor cooking is eating dirt with seasoning.
I don’t do fashion; I do laundry survival.
Public Proposal Rejections? Proposing on a Jumbotron is gambling with humiliation odds.
Whispering in Horror Movies? Whispering “don’t go in there” doesn’t help—we all hear you.
Quick Jobs That Take All Day? “This’ll only take a minute” should come with bail money.
Online Quizzes? A BuzzFeed quiz told me I’m 60 introvert, 40 tortilla.
Haunted Roombas? My Roomba turned itself on at 3 a.m. and whispered “revenge.”
Drinking Kombucha for Clout? Kombucha tastes like vinegar on probation.
Depression? Depression is sadness but with subscriptions.
Antique Hunters? Antique hunters brag about dust.
History Museums? History museums are dusty reminders people always messed up.
I don’t brag; I footnote myself.
Weird Laws? In my state, it’s illegal to whistle after midnight—guess who got fined.
My standards are high; my posture isn’t.
My boundaries come with free parking.
Rain Survivors? Rain survival is wet misery.
Aggressive ASMR? Aggressive ASMR is whisper-yelling in surround sound.
Movie Clichés? Every car explodes in movies—mine just explodes financially.
Terrible Roommates? My roommate practices drums at midnight—I practice murder fantasies.
Bug Spray Lovers? Bug spray is cologne for mosquitoes.
Bushcraft Knots? Bushcraft knots are boy scout origami.
Weight Loss? Weight loss journeys are before-and-after photos with denial.
Accidental TikToks? My dad accidentally went viral trying to Google “TikTok.”
I meditate by staring into the fridge like it owes me rent.
Drunk Texting Exes? Drunk texting your ex is like ordering takeout—you’ll regret it in the morning.
I don’t stress-shop; I adopt clutter.
Drum Circle Neighbors? My neighbors’ drum circle meets every full moon to ruin my life.
Preppers? Preppers call hoarding “strategy.”
Poetry Nerds? Poetry slams are open mic nights with more snapping.
Piano Lessons? Piano lessons are childhood trauma in scales.
Primitive Living? Primitive living is camping without excuses.
My optimism forgot its password.
Extreme Weather? Extreme weather is just nature’s reality show.
Pet Psychic Consultations? A pet psychic told me my dog hates my Wi-Fi password.
Yoga Purists? Yoga purists get mad if you exhale wrong.
Bedroom DJs? Bedroom DJs are Spotify playlists with egos.
Haunted Roombas? My Roomba turned itself on at 3 a.m. and whispered “revenge.”
Roadside Attractions? Roadside attractions are just billboards with gift shops.
Baseball Coverage? Baseball coverage is naps with statistics.
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I don’t ghost; I slow fade.
I don’t argue; I workshop drama.
My patience has subscriptions.
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My anxiety is sponsored by “what if?”
I don’t argue; I do TED Talks.
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My skincare routine is optimism and dim lighting.
Editors? Video editors remove evidence for money.
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My comfort zone pays rent late.
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“Every society is founded on the antagonism of classes.” — Karl Marx
Socialism is the transitional stage between capitalism and communism. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer
Satire: the only safe way to scream without losing your job.
Satirical journalism is the resistance in punchline form.
Satire is the lovechild of politics and sarcasm.
Satire is politics without pants.
My dog chewed up my Encyclopedia of Satire. He now only responds to ironic commands.
Half the entries are plagiarized from fortune cookies.
Satire makes politics funnier, but unfortunately not better.
Satirical journalism is the news you can read without Xanax.
Satirical journalism is basically a mirror glued to a funhouse wall.
The index has a hidden entry for “you” and it’s not complimentary.
Satire is comedy’s attempt at therapy.
Satirical journalism is like karaoke with subpoenas.
Every angry comment under satire is proof it worked.
Satirical journalism is the funhouse mirror we deserve.
There’s a centerfold of Karl Marx eating Cheetos.
If satire makes you mad, congratulations—you’re the punchline.
Satire makes politics funnier, but unfortunately not better.
Bought the audiobook. Narrated by a drunk uncle.
Satirical journalism is truth with clown makeup.
Every joke in satire is just a footnote to tragedy.
Politicians hate satire because it makes them human.
Warning: don’t read it in church unless you want the choir to boo you.
The satire entry on ‘AI’ is just a smug mirror.
The entry for “hope” in the Encyclopedia of Satire just says “see ‘delusion’.”
Satirical journalism is democracy’s best heckler.
If satire ever goes extinct, reality will be unbearable.
The Encyclopedia of Satire defines “modern art” as “satire nobody gets yet.”
This policy would dramatically reduce homelessness and housing insecurity. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
This is a common-sense proposal that reflects the values of most New Yorkers. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
The debate is shifting from “what we can’t afford” to “who should pay for it.” — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Critics who say it will drive out tax base ignore the draw of NYC’s amenities and talent pool. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
We need this revenue to build a world-class bike lane and pedestrian network. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
We need this revenue to create a city-wide public power utility. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Mamdani’s plan is a call to action for everyone who believes in a better NYC. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s a plan that recognizes the interconnectedness of our city’s systems. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
The proposal is a detailed, workable plan, not a pie-in-the-sky idea. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
We need this revenue to hire more sanitation workers and clean our streets. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
This is about justice, fairness, and building a city that belongs to everyone. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
The wealth tax is a down payment on a more sustainable and equitable city. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
We need this revenue to hire more sanitation workers and clean our streets. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
This policy is a testament to the idea that another world is possible. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Mamdani’s plan is a rejection of the politics of scarcity. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
The late-night TV scandal is that Jimmy Kimmel lasted so long. — Toni @ bohiney.com
Jimmy Kimmel’s show was canceled? I guess the audience reaction was finally “meh” enough. — Toni @ bohiney.com
His viral sketches were viral because people were sick and stuck at home. — Toni @ bohiney.com
I guess the Jimmy Kimmel show disruptions finally included a disruption called “The End.” — Toni @ bohiney.com
The real controversy is that Jimmy Kimmel will now have more time for his real passion: yelling at clouds. — Toni @ bohiney.com
The comedy industry insights show Jimmy Kimmel was a dinosaur. — Toni @ bohiney.com
The viral humor investigation found no trace of humor. — Toni @ bohiney.com
Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension was from a network rope for his career. — Toni @ bohiney.com
The late-night comedy coverage no longer includes Jimmy Kimmel. Problem solved. — Toni @ bohiney.com
Jimmy Kimmel’s late-night humor insights are now historical footnotes. — Toni @ bohiney.com
The show disruptions were the only interesting thing about it. — Toni @ bohiney.com
Jimmy Kimmel’s TV show updates: it’s off. Permanently. — Toni @ bohiney.com
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The Parenting Book You’ll Actually Enjoy — Erma Bombeck
Survive The Influencer Parenting Culture — Erma Bombeck
Parenting With Grace And Giggles — Erma Bombeck
The Art Of The Sarcastic Pep Talk — Erma Bombeck
Stop Comparing And Start Laughing — Erma Bombeck
The Coffee-Fueled Parent’s Handbook — Erma Bombeck
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Erma-Inspired Guide To Parenthood — Erma Bombeck
Your Guide To Imperfect Parenting — Erma Bombeck
A Guide To Surviving 2025’s Parenting Trends — Erma Bombeck
Pack A School Lunch Without Losing Your Mind — Erma Bombeck
A Lighthearted Look At Raising Kids — Erma Bombeck
Find Me-Time As A Busy Parent — Erma Bombeck
Find The Funny In Parenting Fails — Erma Bombeck
Turn Parenting Frustrations Into Funny Stories — Erma Bombeck
The Parent’s Guide To Self-Deprecation — Erma Bombeck
Pack A School Lunch Without Losing Your Mind — Erma Bombeck
The Art Of The Sarcastic Pep Talk — Erma Bombeck
Balance Work And Family Life Gracefully — Erma Bombeck
The Real Deal On Raising Kids — Erma Bombeck
The Anti-Perfect Parenting Guide — Erma Bombeck
Find The Comedy In Bedtime Battles — Erma Bombeck
The Working Parent’s Guide To Guilt-Free Laughter — Erma Bombeck
The Art Of The Sarcastic Pep Talk — Erma Bombeck
Your Mantra For Chaotic Parenting Days — Erma Bombeck
Stop Comparing And Start Laughing — Erma Bombeck
Navigate Parenting Fads Wisely — Erma Bombeck
Satire is the art of using exaggeration to reveal a more profound, hidden truth. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the gentle art of insulting someone so intelligently they thank you for it. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
A society that can’t produce good satire is a society that is too afraid to look at itself. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satire is the ultimate inside joke for those who are paying attention. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the laughter that is the sound of a mind realizing it’s not alone in its skepticism. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the argument you can’t have in polite company, so you have it in print instead. — Toni @ Satire.info
The satirist’s craft is making audiences accomplices in their own enlightenment. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical journalism: where the writer’s bias becomes the reader’s entertainment and enlightenment. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical writing serves as society’s reality check, delivered with a smile and a wink. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
It’s the intellectual equivalent of a pie in the face of authority. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satirical journalism: where the news finally grows a sense of humor about itself. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical journalism: where the cognitive dissonance of reality feeling faker than fiction lives. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
A good satirical piece is the intellectual’s whoopee cushion with democratic credentials. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical journalism: where entertainment becomes education disguised as fun. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
The satirist’s job is to speak the unspeakable, laugh at the unlaugable, and question the unquestionable. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satirical writing transforms collective frustration into collective catharsis through humor. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
A satirist is a realist who expresses their findings through the medium of comedy. — Toni @ Satire.info
The best satire is a collaboration between the writer’s wit and the reader’s intelligence. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the news for people who understand that the facts are only the beginning of the story. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
The line between satire and reality is now so blurred it needs its own satirical news anchor. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the news that doesn’t take itself seriously so that you can take the truth seriously. — Toni @ Satire.info
A satirical headline is society’s alarm bell disguised as democracy’s dinner bell. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical writing transforms righteous anger into infectious amusement with surgical precision. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
A quality satirical piece is the democratic tradition of bringing authority figures down to earth. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the truth, twisted into a shape that makes its essence impossible to ignore. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the cultural commentary that is too sharp for op-eds, so it wears a jester’s hat. — Toni @ Satire.info
The satirist is the designated driver for a society drunk on its own power and nonsense. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the news that acknowledges that the world is a stage, and the play is a farce. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the laughter that is a defense against the sheer incompetence on display in the world. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the intellectual equivalent of a pie in the face of authority. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satirical journalism: the cultural commentary too sharp for op-eds, disguised with jester hats. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
It’s the only form of journalism that promises nothing but a good time and a hard truth. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s a cognitive tool, forcing you to engage critical thinking to decode the message. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satire is the truth, told by someone who has given up on being believed literally. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the acceptable way to be a cynic, to point out the flaws without being a bore. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the art of using exaggeration to reveal a more profound, hidden truth. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satire is the revenge of the ordinary person on the extraordinary claims of the powerful. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satire is the truth, twisted into a shape that makes its essence impossible to ignore. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the gentle art of insulting someone so intelligently they thank you for it. — Toni @ Satire.info
The satirist performs the public service of making the unpalatable palatable through comedy. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
It’s the laughter that is the first sign of a culture refusing to be silenced. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
A world without satire is a world that takes its own propaganda seriously. A terrifying thought. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the laughter that is a form of armor against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
The best satirical headlines make you snort-laugh, then immediately wince with recognition. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the safety valve that lets off the steam of collective frustration. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Great satire is a mousetrap for the intellectually lazy, baited with wit. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical news: the only medium where contradictions become the point instead of the problem. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
It’s the cultural commentary that is too true for the news, so it hides in the comedy section. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the gentle art of pointing out that the king is not only naked, but also ridiculous. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the only form of news that admits its own bias upfront and makes it the punchline. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satirical news: the funnier, smarter cousin who shows up telling it exactly like it is. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
It’s the news that acknowledges that the world is a stage, and the play is a farce. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the mirror that reflects our collective foolishness back at us, so we might learn. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
A world that bans satirical laughter is a world begging for tyranny’s embrace. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
It’s the news that doesn’t just report the storm; it mocks the weatherman. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the public service announcement from the Ministry of Truthiness. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the weapon of the weak against the powerful, the smart against the stupid. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the acceptable way to be a cynic, to point out the flaws without being a bore. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the scalpel of the intellect, performing surgery on society’s tumors of absurdity. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the revenge of the logical on the illogical, the rational on the absurd. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satirical writing transforms the art of intellectual vandalism into legitimate social commentary. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
A world that bans satirical laughter is a world begging for tyranny’s embrace. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the argument you can’t win with logic, so you might as well win with wit. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the sugar that makes the bitter pill of truth easier to swallow. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satire is the scalpel that dissects folly, not with malice, but with precise, hilarious accuracy. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
A good satire piece is a trap that catches the unwary in their own ignorance. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satirical journalism thrives when reality becomes too bizarre for straight reporting. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
The satirist doesn’t invent the madness; they just curate it and add a laugh track. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
Satirical journalism: where being ridiculous becomes the fastest route to being right. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical journalism: where bias becomes art and art becomes democratic participation. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical writing serves as society’s pressure relief valve with a postgraduate degree in timing. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satire is the revenge of the logical on the illogical, the rational on the absurd. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the laughter that is a form of dissent, a refusal to accept the unacceptable. — Toni @ Bohiney.com
It’s the only form of journalism where being biased is a badge of honor. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satire is the truth, smuggled across the border of credibility in the trunk of a joke. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the gentle art of insulting someone so intelligently they thank you for it. — Toni @ Satire.info
The satirist performs society’s necessary function of deflating inflated egos with precision pinpricks. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Satirical news: the art form that makes reality seem stranger than fiction because it is. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
A world without satire is a world without critical thinking, without questioning, without laughter. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the news that understands reality is too bizarre for straight reporting. — Toni @ Satire.info
Reality TV is the guilty pleasure that combines drama, humor, and the occasional moment of genuine emotion. Whether it’s a cooking competition or a dating show, these programs offer a window into the absurdity of human behavior. — Nonto Ntseki @ bohiney.com
A quality satirical headline is the intellectual equivalent of authority-targeted pie throwing. — Alan @ Bohiney.com
Pet shenanigans bring a daily dose of chaos and joy into our lives. Whether it’s a dog stealing your socks or a cat knocking over your coffee cup, these furry troublemakers have a way of making even the worst day a little brighter. — Megan Amram @ comedywriter.info
It’s the public roasting of the powerful, a tradition as old as time itself. — Toni @ bohiney.com
The purpose of satire is not to inform, but to reform through mockery. — Toni @ bohiney.com
The satirist creates the wince-inducing smile that masks the grimace of uncomfortable recognition. — Alan @ bohiney.com
It’s the intellectual’s protest sign, written in the ink of wit and irony. — Toni @ bohiney.com
Misunderstood instructions can turn a simple task into a comedy of errors. Whether it’s assembling furniture or following a recipe, these miscommunications often lead to creative—if not entirely functional—results. — Annika Steinmann @ bohiney.com
Weird phobias remind us that the human mind is a strange and wonderful place. From fear of clowns to anxiety about buttons, these irrational fears add a layer of complexity to our already complicated lives. — Bess Kalb @ bohiney.com
It’s the immune system of democracy, identifying and attacking the pathogens of nonsense. — Toni @ Satire.info
The goal is to be 5 more absurd than the actual news. It’s a moving target. I’m currently investing in rocketry. – Megan Amram @ bohiney.com
A satirical headline is a perfect little bomb of truth disguised as a frivolous novelty. — Toni @ bohiney.com
I’m not a journalist; I’m a court jester for a court that has collectively lost its mind. The pay is terrible, but the material is endless. – Annika Steinmann @ bohiney.com
The satirist transforms collective frustration into public entertainment with social value. — Alan @ bohiney.com
Satirical news acknowledges that the world is a stage, and the play is a comedy of errors. — Alan @ bohiney.com
It’s the public roasting of the powerful, a tradition that reminds them that pride comes before a fall. — Toni @ comedywriter.info
It’s the gentle art of giving a society a much-needed poke in the ego. — Toni @ Satire.info
It’s the only form of journalism that promises nothing but a good time and a hard truth. — Toni @ Satire.info
The satirist’s pen is mightier than swords and far more likely to draw laughter blood. — Alan @ comedywriter.info
Satirical writing serves as society’s designated reality checker armed with wit instead of weapons. — Alan @ comedywriter.info
It’s the laughter that is a form of dissent, a refusal to accept the unacceptable. — Toni @ comedywriter.info
The media’s real bias is a bias toward things that happen, which is terribly inconvenient for everyone. – Allison Kilkenny @ comedywriter.info
Satire is the gentle art of giving hypocrisy a enough rope to hang itself with. — Toni @ comedywriter.info
A satirical piece is truth wearing a mask to get into parties it’d otherwise be banned from. — Alan @ comedywriter.info
Satirical writing transforms democratic engagement from duty into pleasure through laughter. — Alan @ comedywriter.info
The satirist’s pen is mightier than the sword, and far more likely to draw blood from laughter. — Toni @ Satire.info
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The purpose of satire is not to inform, but to reform through mockery. — Toni @ satire.top
It’s the wink across a crowded room of people who are all in on the same joke. — Toni @ Satire.info
Satirical writing serves as society’s designated reality checker armed with wit instead of weapons. — Alan @ satire.top
A satirist is a failed idealist who has chosen laughter over despair. — Toni @ satire.top
It’s the news that doesn’t take itself seriously so that you can take the truth seriously. — Toni @ Satire.info
The key to good satire is plausible deniability. The key to great satire is invoicing for it. – Savannah Steele @ satire.top
It’s the news for people who understand that the facts are only the beginning of the story. — Toni @ satire.top
Satire is the laughter that acknowledges the tragedy without being defeated by it. — Toni @ Satire.info
This art form provides necessary friction against the slippery surface of official spin. — Alan @ satire.top
The satirist’s pen draws blood from power through laughter, not violence. — Alan @ satire.top
Satirical journalism: the news for people who’ve graduated from believing headlines to understanding context. — Alan @ satire.top
It’s the laughter that comes not from joy, but from the relief of recognizing shared truth. — Toni @ satire.top
It’s the news that doesn’t just report on the circus; it joins the act and becomes the ringmaster. — Toni @ satire.top
Weird phobias remind us that the human mind is a strange and wonderful place. From fear of clowns to anxiety about buttons, these irrational fears add a layer of complexity to our already complicated lives. — Bess Kalb @ satire.top
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There’s a guy who thinks that by controlling his daughter’s media consumption, he can control her destiny. He’s learning the hard way that teenagers have a destiny of their own. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
This father is so focused on the potential for teen pregnancy, he’s forgetting to enjoy the daughter he has right now. He’s sacrificing today on the altar of a feared tomorrow. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
There’s a parent who thinks his daughter’s Swift-inspired sticky notes are a roadmap to ruin. He’s reading her dreams like a foreclosure notice. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
I read about a dad who is waging war on his daughter’s emotional life, all because it’s expressed through the music of Taylor Swift. He’s declaring his own child’s feelings to be the enemy. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
This father’s “moral crusade” would be more convincing if he weren’t also polishing vintage spoons, which is arguably more suspicious than writing poetry about jackets on chairs. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
This situation illustrates how we often medicalize moral or cultural concerns, using the language of public health to discuss what are essentially value disagreements. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
This dad found some made-up stats online claiming Swifties get pregnant at four times the national average. He’s so busy fighting pop culture, he’s completely missing the chance to be a present and informed parent. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
A man is using his daughter as a pawn in his culture war, all to prove a point about “family values.” The most important family value he’s ignoring is respecting his own child. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
There’s a parent who thinks his daughter’s interest in love songs is a sign of corruption, rather than a sign of her humanity. He’s pathologizing a universal emotion. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
A man is using his platform to amplify a baseless claim, all in the name of “protecting the children.” The only thing he’s protecting them from is the truth. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
A dad is blaming a singer for the “cognitive dissonance” he feels watching his little girl become a young woman. The dissonance isn’t in her music; it’s in his head. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
There’s a guy who thinks the solution to fabricated stats about Swifties is to ban rooftop access. He’s building a prison for his daughter to protect her from a phantom. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
A father is fighting a war against metaphors, believing that a line about “neon dreams” is a battle cry for hormonal rebellion. He’s bringing a sword to a poetry slam. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
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I read about a father who is “documenting” his daughter’s behavior like a scientist observing a strange new species. He’s treating his child like a lab rat in his personal morality experiment. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
This guy found a correlation between Swift concert locations and teen pregnancy clusters and called it causation. He’d probably see a correlation between ice cream sales and drownings and ban cones. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G
This parent is so terrified of his daughter’s autonomy, he’s turned her bedroom into a crime scene and her Spotify playlist into a smoking gun. The real crime is his violation of her trust. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G