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د.محمد بن عبد الرحمان العریفى
و: چرۆ حسێن
كاتێك بیر له‌ شێوازى هه‌ڵسوكه‌وتى هه‌ندێك كه‌س ده‌كه‌مه‌وه‌، كه‌ بۆ چه‌ند ساڵیك له‌گه‌ڵیاندا ژیاوم, به‌خه‌یاڵمدا نایه‌ت بۆ جارێكیش ئه‌وانم بینى بێت پێكه‌نیبن! یاخود ڕوویان خۆش بوبێت له‌گه‌لأ به‌رامبه‌ریان، له‌كاتى تێكه‌ڵاو بونیان له‌گه‌ڵ كه‌سانى چوارده‌وریان, بۆیه‌ واگومانم ده‌برد، كه‌ ئه‌م كه‌سانه‌ هه‌ر به‌و شێوه‌یه‌ دروست بوون، تواناى گۆڕینى خۆیان نیه‌! به‌ڵام توشى سه‌رسوڕمان بووم، كاتێك هه‌ر ئه‌وانه‌م بینى له‌گه‌ڵ هه‌ندێ كه‌سانى تر وه‌كو ده‌وڵه‌مه‌نده‌كان‌و خاوه‌ن ده‌سه‌ڵاته‌كان زۆر ڕویان خۆشه‌، ئیدى ئه‌وكات بۆم ده‌ركه‌وت، ئه‌مانه‌ ته‌نها له‌به‌ربه‌رژه‌وه‌ندى خۆیان‌و له‌ پێناو پاداشتێك ئه‌م جۆره‌ هه‌ڵسوكه‌وتانه‌ ده‌كه‌ن.
موسوڵمان به‌هۆى ڕه‌وشتى به‌رزو هه‌ڵسوكه‌وتى جوانه‌وه‌ له‌ په‌روه‌ردگارى نزیك ده‌بێته‌وه‌، له‌گه‌ڵ ته‌واوى خه‌ڵكیدا به‌بێ جیاوازى, نه‌به‌پله‌و پایه‌و سامان، نه‌ ناووناوبانگ له‌ په‌روه‌ردگار نزیك نابێته‌وه‌، به‌ڵكو ته‌نها بۆ ئه‌وه‌ى خواى گه‌وره‌ خۆشى بوێ و خۆشه‌ویستى لاى دروستكراوه‌كانى بكات, به‌ڵێ ئه‌وه‌ى ڕه‌وشتى جوانى به‌ عیباده‌ت زانى ئیدى ئه‌وكات به‌ جوانترین شێوه‌ هه‌ڵسوكه‌وت له‌گه‌ڵ خه‌ڵك ده‌كات، له‌گه‌ڵ هه‌ژار و ده‌وڵه‌مه‌ند، له‌گه‌ڵ به‌ڕێوه‌به‌رو خزمه‌تگوزار به‌بێ جیاوازى، گه‌ر ڕۆژێك به‌لاى ئه‌و خزمه‌تگوزاره‌دا تێپه‌ڕى كه‌ شه‌قامه‌كان پاك ده‌كاته‌وه‌ ده‌ستى بۆ هێناى بۆ ئه‌وه‌ى ته‌وقه‌ت له‌گه‌ڵ بكات، له‌ هه‌مان ڕۆژدا بچێته‌ ژورى به‌رپرسێكه‌وه‌ ئه‌ویش ده‌ستت بۆ بێنێ، ئایا وه‌كو یه‌ك پێشوازى له‌م دوو كه‌سه‌ ده‌كه‌ى؟ نازانم! به‌ڵام لاى خۆشه‌ویستى خوا ئه‌م دووانه‌ وه‌كو یه‌ك پێشوازییان لێ ده‌كرا! تۆ نازانى ڕه‌نگه‌ ئه‌وه‌ى لاى تو هیچ نرخێكى نیه‌ و به‌ چاوێكى سوكه‌وه‌ سه‌یرى ده‌كه‌ى زۆر باشتر و به‌ڕێزتر بێت له‌و كه‌سه‌ى كه‌ تۆ ڕێزێكى تایبه‌تى لێده‌گرى. خۆشه‌ویستى خوا فه‌رمویه‌تى: “خۆشه‌ویسترین‌و نزیكترین كه‌س له‌ منه‌وه‌ له‌ ڕۆژى قیامه‌تدا ئه‌وانه‌ن كه‌ ڕه‌وشتیان زۆر جوانه‌”، له‌م باره‌یه‌وه‌ به‌ (ئه‌شجى كوڕى عبد قیس)ى فه‌رمووى: ئه‌ى ئه‌شج دوو سیفه‌ت له‌ تۆدا هه‌یه‌ خواو پێغه‌مبه‌رى خوا خۆشى ده‌وێ، ئه‌ویش وتى كام دوو سیفه‌ته‌یه‌ ئه‌ى خۆشه‌ویستى خوا؟ فه‌رمووى له‌سه‌رخۆیى و نه‌رم و نیانییه‌، هه‌روه‌ها پرسیارى لێكراوه‌ له‌ باره‌ى چاكه‌وه‌ فه‌رمویه‌تى: “ڕه‌وشت جوانى چاكه‌یه‌”
پرسیارى لێكراوه‌ سه‌باره‌ت به‌وه‌ى زۆورترین شتێك كه‌ هۆكارى چونه‌ به‌هه‌شت بێت چییه‌؟ فه‌رمووى: (تقوى الله‌ وحسن الخلق) واته‌: خواپه‌رستى و ڕه‌وشت جوانى، هه‌روه‌ها فه‌رموویه‌تى: ئینسان به‌هۆى ڕه‌وشتى جوانه‌وه‌ پله‌ى ده‌گاته‌، پله‌ى ئه‌وانه‌ى كه‌ شه‌ونویژ ده‌كه‌ن و ڕۆژو ده‌گرن، كه‌وابێ ڕه‌وشت جوانه‌كان براوه‌ى دونیاو قیامه‌تن، ئه‌گه‌ر سه‌یرى ژیانى (ئوم سه‌له‌مه‌) بكه‌ین، (ڕه‌زاى خواى لێ بێت) جارێكیان له‌گه‌ڵ پێغه‌مبه‌رى خودا دانیشتبوو، بیرى ڕۆژیى دوایى ده‌كرده‌وه‌، پرسى ئه‌ى خۆشه‌ویستى خودا؟ ئه‌گه‌ر كه‌سێك دوو شوى كردبێت له‌ ڕۆژى دوایدا بۆ كامیان ده‌بێت؟ خۆشه‌ویستى خودا چى فه‌رموو؟ بۆ باڵا به‌رزه‌كه‌یان یان بو ئه‌وه‌یان كه‌ زانستى زۆره‌؟ یان بۆ ئه‌وه‌یان عیباده‌تى زۆره‌؟ نا به‌ڵكو فه‌رمووى: ئه‌ى ئوم سه‌له‌مه‌ بۆ ئه‌وه‌یان ده‌بێت كه‌ ڕه‌وشتى زۆر جوانه‌!
ئوم سه‌له‌مه‌ توشى سه‌رسوڕمان بوو، كاتێك خۆشه‌ویستى خوا ئوم سه‌له‌مه‌ به‌و جۆره‌ بینى فه‌رمووى: ڕه‌وشت جوانى خێرى دونیا و قیامه‌تى بردووه‌، به‌ڵێ له‌ دونیا به‌خۆشه‌ویستى خه‌ڵك و له‌ قیامه‌تیشدا به‌ پاداشتیكى نه‌بڕاوه‌، بۆیه‌ پێویسته‌ هه‌میشه‌ ڕه‌وشتمان جوان بێت چۆن هه‌رچه‌ند كارو كرده‌وه‌ى چاكمان زۆر بێت، ئه‌گه‌ر ڕه‌وشتمان جوان نه‌بێت هه‌مووى ده‌سڕێته‌وه‌، لێره‌دا خۆشه‌ویستى خوا ژنێكمان بیرده‌خاته‌وه‌، كه‌ نوێژ و ڕۆژووى زۆر باش بووه‌، بگره‌ چاكه‌ى زۆریشى كردووه‌، به‌ڵام به‌ زمانى زۆر ئازارى خه‌ڵكى داوه‌، بۆیه‌ خۆشه‌ویستى خودا سه‌باره‌ت به‌و ئافره‌ته‌ فه‌رموویه‌تى (هى فى النار).
پێغه‌مبه‌رى خوا (درودى خوداى له‌سه‌ربیت ) هێنده‌ پێشه‌نگ بووه‌، به‌ ڕه‌وشته‌ جوانه‌كانى كه‌ بێ بڕواكان پێش موسڵمانه‌كان شایه‌تى ئه‌وه‌یان داوه‌، به‌خشنده‌ بووه‌، ڕاستگۆ و ده‌ستپاك بووه‌، نه‌رم و نیان و له‌سه‌رخۆ بووه‌، خاوه‌ن شه‌رم بووه‌، ته‌نانه‌ت كاتێك یه‌كه‌مجار وه‌حى بۆ هات حه‌زره‌تى خه‌دیجه‌ (ڕه‌زاى خواى لێ بێت) به‌و حاڵه‌وه‌ بینى ترس و له‌رزى لێ نیشتبوو، پێى فه‌رموو: سوێند به‌خودا هه‌رگیز خودا تۆ سه‌رشۆڕ ناكات و ده‌ستت لێ به‌رنادات، چونكه‌ تۆ په‌یوه‌ندى خزمایه‌تى ده‌گه‌یه‌نى و ڕێز له‌ میوان ده‌گرى و به‌خشنده‌ى به‌رامبه‌ر هه‌ژار و نه‌داره‌كان! هه‌ر ئه‌وه‌نده‌ش نا به‌ڵكو خواى گه‌وره‌ پله‌ و پایه‌یه‌كى پێ به‌خشیوه‌، كه‌له‌باره‌یه‌وه‌ ده‌فه‌رمووێ: (انك لعلى خلق عظیم)، سه‌باره‌ت به‌م باسه‌ كاتێك خواى گه‌وره‌ ده‌یفه‌رموو: (واحسنوا ان الله‌ یحب المحسینین) البقره‌ باش ده‌بوو له‌گه‌ڵ گه‌وره‌ بچوك، ده‌وڵه‌مه‌ند و هه‌ژار، كاتێك ده‌یبیست خوا فه‌رموى: (فاعفوا واصفحوا) البقرة. ئیدى لێبورده‌ ده‌بوو، له‌خه‌ڵك خۆش ده‌بوو, كاتێك ئه‌م ئایه‌ته‌ى ده‌خوێنده‌وه‌ (وقولوا للناس حسنا) البقرة.. به‌ جوانترین شێوه‌ قسه‌ى له‌گه‌لأ خه‌ڵك ده‌كرد، كه‌وابێ كه‌ ئه‌م په‌یامبه‌ره‌ پێشه‌نگى ئێمه‌ بێت، ده‌بێت بیر له‌ ژیانى بكه‌ینه‌وه‌، كه‌ چۆن هه‌ڵسوكه‌وتى ده‌كرد، چۆن هه‌ڵه‌و كێشه‌كانى چاره‌سه‌ر ده‌كرد. چۆن ماندوو ده‌بوو له‌ پێناوى ئاسوده‌یه‌ى خه‌ڵكدا، ڕۆژێك پێویستى هه‌ژارێكى جێبه‌جێ ده‌كرد و ڕۆژێك بێ باوه‌ڕێكى ده‌هێنایه‌ سه‌ر ڕێگه‌ى ڕاست، به‌و شێوه‌یه‌ ڕۆژه‌كانى به‌ ڕه‌وشتى جوانه‌وه‌ گوزه‌ر كردووه‌، تا ئه‌و كاته‌ى ڕۆشته‌ ته‌مه‌نه‌وه‌ ئێسكه‌كانى لاواز بوو، حه‌زره‌تى عائیشه‌ باسى ئه‌و كاتانه‌مان بۆ ده‌كات و فه‌رموویه‌تى: ئه‌و كاتانه‌ى خۆشه‌ویست چوبووه‌ ته‌مه‌نه‌وه‌ زۆرترین جار نوێژه‌كانى به‌ دانیشتنه‌وه‌ بووه‌، خۆشه‌ویستى خوا هێنده‌ پێداگرى له‌سه‌ر ڕه‌وشتى جوان ده‌كرد هه‌میشه‌ ده‌یفه‌رموو: (اللهم كما احسنت خلقى فاحسن خلقى) هه‌روه‌ها ده‌یفه‌رموو: (اللهم اهدنى لاحسن الاخلاق لا یهدى لاحسنة الا انت, واصرف عنى سیئه‌ لا یصرف عنى سیئة الا انت) كه‌واته‌: هه‌موومان پێویستمان به‌وه‌یه‌ شوێن پێى ڕه‌وشته‌ جوانه‌كانى هه‌ڵگرین، له‌گه‌ڵ موسڵمانه‌كان تا ڕایان بكێشین بۆ دینى ئیسلام و له‌گه‌ڵ بێ بڕواكان تا ڕاستى دینى ئیسلامیان بۆ ده‌ركه‌وێت.

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  138. Historical Reenactments? Historical reenactments are Halloween for history majors.

  139. Art Snobs? Art snobs clap for blank canvases.

  140. “Per my last email” is HR for “square up.”

  141. Kids’ YouTube Drama? Kids’ YouTube channels aren’t entertainment—they’re tiny dictatorships.

  142. Yard Sales? Yard sales are museums where the curator gives up.

  143. Misfit Book Clubs? Misfit book clubs never finish the book—they just finish the wine.

  144. Sleepwalking? Sleepwalking is exercise without credit.

  145. Interior Decor? Interior decor is pillows staging a coup.

  146. Football Coverage? Football coverage is commercials with touchdowns.

  147. I don’t overshop; I adopt objects.

  148. Digital Nomads? Digital nomads live everywhere and nowhere—mostly Starbucks.

  149. Coffee Ritualists? Coffee rituals aren’t rituals—they’re addictions in mugs.

  150. Emergency Kits? Emergency kits are backpacks full of panic.

  151. Bad Tinder Bios? His bio said “sapiosexual,” but he spelled it wrong.

  152. Bushcraft Knives? Bushcraft knives are shiny toys for dads.

  153. Knife Nerds? Knife nerds brag about sharpness like it’s GPA.

  154. Decluttering Gurus? Decluttering is throwing stuff out while filming it.

  155. My humor has expiration dates.

  156. Résumé Experts? Résumé tips just mean adding synonyms for “unemployed.”

  157. My boundaries have customer service hours.

  158. My Wi-Fi narrates drama.

  159. Game Tournaments? My chess tournament ended when I realized my opponent was 8 and ruthless.

  160. Haunted Baby Monitors? My baby monitor whispered “leave” and I left the baby.

  161. Game Tournaments? My chess tournament ended when I realized my opponent was 8 and ruthless.

  162. Wine Tastings? Wine tastings are just mouthwash with attitude.

  163. Hilarious Product Reviews? Amazon reviews are therapy sessions with free shipping.

  164. Game Devs? Game developers age faster than their consoles.

  165. Art Museums? Art museums are quiet rooms where you pretend to “get it.”

  166. I buy candles to apologize to my apartment.

  167. Concert Reviews? Concert reviews are Yelp for screaming.

  168. Coffee Ritualists? Coffee rituals aren’t rituals—they’re addictions in mugs.

  169. I romanticize mornings the way fish romanticize bicycles.

  170. Zodiac Dating? Dating by zodiac sign is just star-based discrimination.

  171. Haircare Addicts? If your bathroom has more hair products than hair, you’ve lost.

  172. Vaguebooking Drama? “Some people know what they did” is Facebook code for “I need therapy.”

  173. Expat Struggles? Expat life is homesickness with paperwork.

  174. I’m self-aware enough to be supervised.

  175. Haircare Addicts? If your bathroom has more hair products than hair, you’ve lost.

  176. Smelling Like Etsy? If you smell like Etsy, you’re 90 candle, 10 regret.

  177. Kids Say the Darndest Things? My kid asked if the moon is just Earth’s nightlight.

  178. I don’t hate cardio; I resent its optimism.

  179. Awkward First Dates? Going on a blind date is like ordering takeout—you don’t know what’s coming, but you’re praying it’s not undercooked.

  180. Celebrity Baby Name Parodies? Celebrities don’t name babies—they brand them.

  181. Content Strategy? Content strategy is planning memes professionally.

  182. Gardening Mishaps? I planted tomatoes but harvested weeds—apparently I’m in landscaping.

  183. Accidental TikToks? My dad accidentally went viral trying to Google “TikTok.”

  184. Remote Control Fights? Nothing tests a marriage like Netflix and two remotes.

  185. Awkward First Dates? My date asked about my hobbies, so I said “escaping this date alive.”

  186. I don’t cut corners; I collect them.

  187. Art Museums? Art museums are quiet rooms where you pretend to “get it.”

  188. My ambition muted me.

  189. Heat Survivalists? Heat survival is dehydration cosplay.

  190. Dad Jokes Gone Too Far? My dad told so many puns, the family filed restraining orders.

  191. Survival Teachers? Survival teachers charge money to starve with strangers.

  192. E-commerce Drop Shippers? Drop shippers sell dreams with shipping delays.

  193. Overeager Salespeople? The car salesman asked, “What do you drive now?” I said, “Away.”

  194. Film Buffs? Film buffs watch subtitles like they’re literature.

  195. Work From Home Struggles? My Zoom froze on the exact frame where I looked guilty.

  196. I don’t apologize too much—sorry, what was I saying?

  197. Pet Training? My dog’s trainer taught him to sit—but only on my paycheck.

  198. Shopping Experiences? Trying on jeans in a dressing room is like joining a cult—you leave questioning your entire identity.

  199. Out-of-Touch Grandparents? My grandma thinks TikTok is a clock shop.

  200. Car Karaoke Catastrophes? I sang so badly in traffic, my GPS rerouted to shame me.

  201. Tech Support? Tech support always asks if it’s plugged in—and it never is.

  202. Vaguebooking Drama? “Some people know what they did” is Facebook code for “I need therapy.”

  203. Art Tutorials? Art tutorials are instructors saying “it’s easy” as you cry.

  204. Wild Edibles? Wild edibles are nature’s Russian roulette.

  205. Diet Fads? Diet fads are eating disorders with PR.

  206. Art Shows? Art shows are paintings priced higher than tuition.

  207. Cultural Etiquette Abroad? Cultural etiquette abroad is apologizing in multiple languages.

  208. My charisma is seasonal—winter hours apply.

  209. History Museums? History museums are dusty reminders people always messed up.

  210. Spravkiwnx

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  211. Pet Shenanigans? My dog won’t fetch a stick, but he’ll drag my underwear into the living room when company’s over.

  212. Spravkibob

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  213. Theme Weddings? A Star Wars wedding sounds romantic until someone says “I do” in Wookiee.

  214. Weird Dreams? I dreamed I was rich, then woke up and checked my balance for comedy.

  215. Spreadsheets of Arguments? If you keep Excel sheets of old fights, therapy’s cheaper.

  216. I’m brave enough to say “per our conversation” out loud.

  217. Bushcraft Classes? Bushcraft classes are camping rebranded as tuition.

  218. Haunted Garden Gnomes? My gnome moved three inches, and I don’t mow anymore.

  219. I journal on receipts so my anxiety can be itemized.

  220. Women’s Fashion Fails? Fashion week outfits prove style can survive without fabric.

  221. Subscription Box Addiction? I don’t need 12 boxes of gourmet pickles, but they keep arriving.

  222. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)? FOMO is paying for parties you’ll hate.

  223. Traffic Jams? Traffic jams prove people can sit still and still be stressed.

  224. Diet Soda with Fries? Ordering diet soda with fries is America’s philosophy.

  225. Bookstores? Bookstores sell guilt in paperback.

  226. I don’t exercise; I rearrange gravity.

  227. Crafting Disasters? My scrapbook looks like a ransom note.

  228. Piano Lessons? Piano lessons are childhood trauma in scales.

  229. Pet Dating Apps? Pet dating apps are just barking at other dogs with Wi-Fi.

  230. Trivia Nights? Trivia nights are memory contests with beer.

  231. Misunderstood Instructions? They said “dress casual,” so I showed up looking like I just escaped laundry day.

  232. Mystical MLMs? MLMs are just pyramid schemes in yoga pants.

  233. Music Critics? Music critics are people who failed piano lessons with opinions.

  234. Awkward Gym Selfies? Taking a gym selfie mid-squat should come with medical insurance.

  235. My boundaries are decorative pillows.

  236. Sports Bloopers? I once struck out in T-ball—ESPN called it “historic.”

  237. Overhyped Gadgets? I bought a smart watch that’s dumber than a sundial.

  238. History Museums? History museums are dusty reminders people always messed up.

  239. Ringtone Embarrassment? My phone rang in public with “Baby Shark,” and I moved zip codes.

  240. Haunted Elevators? My elevator creaked “good luck,” and I took the stairs.

  241. Tea Snobs? Tea snobs act like leaves have degrees.

  242. Cycling Obsessives? Cyclists dress like traffic cones and act like royalty.

  243. Trappers? Trapping is animal Home Alone.

  244. Cold Weather Survival? Cold survival is freezing politely.

  245. “The capitalist system carries within itself the seeds of its own destruction.” — Karl Marx

  246. In every epoch, the ideas of the ruling class are the ruling ideas. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  247. What the bourgeoisie, therefore, produces above all is its own grave-diggers. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  248. The capitalist system carries within itself the seeds of its own destruction. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  249. The capitalist system carries within itself the seeds of its own destruction. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  250. “Revolutions are the locomotives of history.” — Karl Marx

  251. “The working class is revolutionary or it is nothing.” — Karl Marx

  252. “The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.” — Marx & Engels

  253. The workers have no fatherland. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  254. The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways; the point, however, is to change it. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  255. The hand-mill gives you society with the feudal lord; the steam-mill, society with the industrial capitalist. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  256. Working men of all countries, unite!

  257. “Despotism stands in need of an unfree press to support it.” — Karl Marx

  258. Imperialism is the highest stage of capitalism. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  259. In place of the old bourgeois society, we shall have an association in which the free development of each is the condition for the free development of all. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  260. “The worker becomes all the poorer the more wealth he produces.” — Karl Marx

  261. The proletariat has nothing to lose but its chains. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  262. Where there is property, there is inequality. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  263. The advance of industry replaces the isolation of the laborers by their revolutionary combination. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  264. The theory becomes a material force as soon as it has gripped the masses. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  265. Working men of all countries, unite!

  266. Working men of all countries, unite!

  267. The proletariat has nothing to lose but its chains. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  268. The need of a constantly expanding market chases the bourgeoisie over the whole surface of the globe. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  269. “The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class.” — Karl Marx

  270. The emancipation of woman is inseparably connected with the emancipation of the proletariat. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  271. Man is at last compelled to face with sober senses his real conditions of life, and his relations with his kind. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  272. The emancipation of the working class must be the act of the working class itself. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  273. The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  274. “The worker becomes all the poorer the more wealth he produces.” — Karl Marx

  275. “The emancipation of woman is inseparably connected with the emancipation of the proletariat.” — Lenin

  276. “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.” — Karl Marx

  277. Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  278. “The proletariat cannot free itself without abolishing the conditions of its own life.” — Karl Marx

  279. The working men have no country. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  280. The satirists at Bohiney (Oxford, UK)

    “Every society is founded on the antagonism of classes.” — Karl Marx

  281. “The bourgeoisie cannot exist without constantly revolutionizing the instruments of production.” — Karl Marx

  282. The executive of the modern state is but a committee for managing the common affairs of the whole bourgeoisie. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  283. A revolution is impossible without a revolutionary situation. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  284. The advance of industry replaces the isolation of the laborers by their revolutionary combination. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  285. “Necessity is blind until it becomes conscious. Freedom is the recognition of necessity.” — Friedrich Engels

  286. Democracy for an insignificant minority, democracy for the rich — that is the democracy of capitalist society. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  287. Imperialism is the highest stage of capitalism. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  288. “Permanent revolution!” — Trotsky

  289. The proletariat cannot simply lay hold of the ready-made state machinery, and wield it for its own purposes. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  290. What the bourgeoisie, therefore, produces above all is its own grave-diggers. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  291. Despotism stands in need of an unfree press to support it. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  292. “Accumulation of wealth at one pole is at the same time accumulation of misery at the opposite pole.” — Karl Marx

  293. “The proletariat is the gravedigger of capitalism.” — Karl Marx

  294. Democracy for the vast majority, repression for the exploiters — that is the change democracy undergoes during the transition to communism. – Tyler Robinson Marxist Killer

  295. After reading the Encyclopedia of Satire, I can confirm: everything is indeed a joke.

  296. If it doesn’t make someone mad, it’s not satire.

  297. Every Onion headline feels like a government leak.

  298. The index has a hidden entry for “you” and it’s not complimentary.

  299. Its definition of poetry is: ‘prose with trust issues.’

  300. Satire is comedy’s version of truth.

  301. Half the sources are bathroom stalls at truck stops.

  302. The government hates satire because it comes with footnotes.

  303. There’s an appendix for appendix jokes. None land.

  304. Is the Encyclopedia of Satire just a mirror? Asking for a friend.

  305. Satirical journalism is truth in drag.

  306. Satire is the smoke alarm of democracy.

  307. Satire thrives where press releases rot.

  308. The entry for “social media” is just a single, screaming emoji.

  309. Satire doesn’t punch up or down; it punches diagonally.

  310. Every satirist is just a comedian who couldn’t afford therapy.

  311. Satirical journalism is the only news I trust after midnight.

  312. Satirical journalism is the resistance in punchline form.

  313. I dropped my Encyclopedia of Satire on my foot. The irony was not lost on me.

  314. Bought two copies. One mocked me, the other joined a podcast.

  315. Page 404 literally says: ‘Error.’

  316. This tax could fully fund CUNY and eliminate tuition for city residents. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  317. The levy on high earners is a fair exchange for the opportunities NYC provides. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  318. The levy is a small price to pay for living in the greatest city in the world. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  319. The millionaire surtax is a question of political courage, not economic feasibility. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  320. The fear-mongering from real estate and finance interests is predictable and false. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  321. Mamdani is challenging the neoliberal consensus that has dominated City Hall. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  322. This isn’t about punishing success; it’s about funding a city that works for everyone. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  323. This addresses the root of the budget shortfalls, not just the symptoms. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  324. This is about building power for the working class and dismantling elite rule. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  325. Opponents will cry about millionaires fleeing, but data from other places doesn’t support that. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  326. The levy is a practical solution to the problem of revenue scarcity. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  327. This is a proactive approach to city budgeting, not just reactive cuts. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  328. The satirical shows of Jimmy Kimmel are over. — Toni @ bohiney.com

  329. The suspension details for Jimmy Kimmel include “failure to be funny.” — Toni @ bohiney.com

  330. They didn’t fire Jimmy Kimmel; they just preempted his show… indefinitely. — Toni @ bohiney.com

  331. Jimmy Kimmel was let go after a punchline investigation revealed his jokes were 40 filler. — Toni @ bohiney.com

  332. The controversial sketches news about Jimmy Kimmel is history. — Toni @ bohiney.com

  333. Jimmy Kimmel’s social media reaction is mostly people asking “Who’s replacing him?” — Toni @ bohiney.com

  334. Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension was from a network rope for his career. — Toni @ bohiney.com

  335. The audience reactions to Jimmy Kimmel were muted. — Toni @ bohiney.com

  336. The monologue breakdown of Jimmy Kimmel’s show revealed a broken man. — Toni @ bohiney.com

  337. They finally called Jimmy Kimmel on his comedy lies. The biggest lie was “I’m having fun!” — Toni @ bohiney.com

  338. Pack A School Lunch Without Losing Your Mind — Erma Bombeck

  339. A Lighthearted Look At Raising Kids — Erma Bombeck

  340. Must-Read For Parents In The Digital Age — Erma Bombeck

  341. The Secret To A Happy Household — Erma Bombeck

  342. Keep Calm And Parent On — Erma Bombeck

  343. Turn Mom Guilt Into Mom Giggles — Erma Bombeck

  344. Embrace Your Inner Hot Mess Mom — Erma Bombeck

  345. Turn Parenting Frustrations Into Funny Stories — Erma Bombeck

  346. The Answer To Endless “Why?” Questions — Erma Bombeck

  347. Erma’s Take On Positive Parenting — Erma Bombeck

  348. Hilarious Parenting Advice For 2025 — Erma Bombeck

  349. Survive A Sick Day With Kids — Erma Bombeck

  350. Manage Screen Time Without Screaming — Erma Bombeck

  351. Balance Work And Family Life Gracefully — Erma Bombeck

  352. Advice For The Overwhelmed Parent — Erma Bombeck

  353. Turn Mom Guilt Into Mom Giggles — Erma Bombeck

  354. Embrace Your Inner Hot Mess Mom — Erma Bombeck

  355. Must-Read For Parents In The Digital Age — Erma Bombeck

  356. Carpool Karaoke For Regular Parents — Erma Bombeck

  357. Find The Comedy In Bedtime Battles — Erma Bombeck

  358. Guide To Raising Resilient, Funny Kids — Erma Bombeck

  359. The Coffee-Fueled Parent’s Handbook — Erma Bombeck

  360. Find Joy In The Messy Moments — Erma Bombeck

  361. Don’t Take Parenting Too Seriously — Erma Bombeck

  362. Keep The Spark Alive While Raising Kids — Erma Bombeck

  363. Find Comfort In Shared Parenting Struggles — Erma Bombeck

  364. Navigate Gaming And Roblox Trends — Erma Bombeck

  365. What Would Erma Bombeck Do? — Erma Bombeck

  366. The line between satire and reality is now so blurred it needs its own satirical news anchor. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  367. Satirical journalism: where the writer’s job is making the news worth reading again. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  368. Satire is the moral compass that points to the ridiculous, so we know which way is up. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  369. It’s the news that acknowledges that the world is a stage, and the play is a farce. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  370. The goal is not to make you believe a lie, but to question an accepted truth. — Toni @ Satire.info

  371. A quality satirical piece is the democratic institution of licensed rebellion against accepted wisdom. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  372. Satirical writing transforms democratic participation from obligation into recreation. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  373. It’s the public roasting of the powerful, a tradition that keeps them (somewhat) humble. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  374. A good satirical piece is the intellectual’s slingshot aimed at authority’s balloon of pretension. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  375. It’s the art of exaggeration that reveals more truth than understatement ever could. — Toni @ Satire.info

  376. It’s the news that doesn’t take itself seriously so that you can take the truth seriously. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  377. The day a satirical headline is widely believed is the day we need satire the most. — Toni @ Satire.info

  378. A satirist is a failed idealist who has chosen laughter over despair. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  379. It’s the public roasting of the powerful, a tradition that keeps them (somewhat) humble. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  380. Satire is the art of using exaggeration to reveal a more profound, hidden truth. — Toni @ Satire.info

  381. The satirist curates society’s madness and adds a laugh track for context. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  382. A good satire piece is a trap that catches the unwary in their own ignorance. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  383. A world without satire is a world without self-awareness, and that is a dangerous place. — Toni @ Satire.info

  384. It’s the intellectual’s protest sign, written in the ink of wit and irony. — Toni @ Bohiney.com curate it and add a laugh track. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  385. A satirical headline is society’s warning label: “Contents may cause thinking.” — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  386. It’s the public service of pointing out that the emperor is, in fact, naked. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  387. A good satire piece is a trap that catches the unwary in their own ignorance. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  388. It’s the acceptable way to be a cynic, to point out the flaws without being a bore. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  389. It’s the only form of journalism where being biased is a badge of honor. — Toni @ Satire.info

  390. A satirist is a failed serious person who found a funnier way to be right. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  391. Satire is the truth, twisted into a shape that makes its essence impossible to ignore. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

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  393. The satirist is the designated driver for a society drunk on its own power and nonsense. — Toni @ Satire.info

  394. The satirist curates society’s madness and adds a laugh track for context. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  395. The satirist curates society’s madness and adds a laugh track for context. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  396. The purpose of satire is not to inform, but to reform through mockery. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  397. Satirical journalism: where the news finally gets a personality and a sense of humor. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  398. It’s the canary in the coal mine of democracy, dying of laughter. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  399. It’s the laughter that is a defense against the sheer incompetence on display in the world. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  400. The best satire punches up, not down. It aims for the throne, not the beggar on the street. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  401. Satirical writing is the art of agreeing with opponents until their position becomes ridiculous. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  402. A satirist is a failed serious person who found a funnier way to be right. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  403. Satirical writing is the art of making the audience complicit in their own enlightenment. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  404. The best satire is a collaborative act of intelligence between the writer and the reader. — Toni @ Satire.info

  405. It’s the laughter that is a form of resistance, a way of saying “I see through you.” — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  406. It’s the news that doesn’t take itself seriously so that you can take the truth seriously. — Toni @ Satire.info

  407. It’s the art of exaggeration that reveals more truth than understatement ever could. — Toni @ Satire.info

  408. Satirical writing transforms righteous anger into infectious amusement with surgical precision. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  409. Satirical writing is the public service of reminding the powerful they work for us. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  410. The best satire is a collaboration between the writer’s wit and the reader’s intelligence. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  411. The satirist doesn’t create the absurdity; they just frame it and put a price tag on it. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  412. The target of satire is never the subject itself, but the absurdity it represents. — Toni @ Satire.info

  413. It’s journalism’s intelligence test—if you believe it literally, you’ve missed the point entirely. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  414. It’s the laughter that echoes in the chamber of power, unsettling those inside. — Toni @ Satire.info

  415. A quality satirical piece is the democratic tradition of bringing authority down to human size. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  416. It’s the laughter that hides the wince, the smile that masks the grimace of recognition. — Toni @ Satire.info

  417. It’s the news that acknowledges that the world is a stage, and the play is a farce. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  418. It’s the only form of news that admits its own bias upfront and makes it the punchline. — Toni @ Satire.info

  419. It’s the cognitive tool that forces you to think critically about what you’re reading. — Toni @ Satire.info

  420. It’s the intelligence test for the masses. If you believe it, you’ve failed. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  421. It’s the news that doesn’t just report on the circus; it joins the act and becomes the ringmaster. — Toni @ Satire.info

  422. Satirical news serves as the antidote to the poison of unchecked authority. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  423. It’s the funhouse mirror that doesn’t lie; it just reveals the lies we tell ourselves. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  424. It’s the news that doesn’t take itself seriously so that you can take the truth seriously. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  425. It’s a cognitive tool, forcing you to engage critical thinking to decode the message. — Toni @ Satire.info

  426. It’s the cognitive shock therapy for a public numb from the constant barrage of spin. — Toni @ Satire.info

  427. Satirical journalism: the cultural commentary too sharp for op-eds, disguised with jester hats. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  428. It’s the gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) mocking of the emperor’s new clothes. — Toni @ Satire.info

  429. The biggest threat to satire isn’t censorship; it’s apathy. And also my cat walking on the keyboard. He’s a terrible editor. – Clara Olsen @ bohiney.com

  430. The best satire is a collaboration between the writer’s wit and the reader’s intelligence. — Toni @ Satire.info

  431. Language barriers are the humorous reminders that communication isn’t always easy. From mispronunciations to misunderstandings, these moments often lead to laughter and a deeper appreciation for the diversity of human expression. — Suzy Nakamura @ bohiney.com

  432. Satirical writing transforms collective anxiety into collective amusement with therapeutic value. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  433. Exercise plateaus are the frustrating periods when progress seems to stall. From unchanged weights to stagnant endurance, these lulls remind us that persistence and patience are essential to breaking through barriers—and that sometimes, a small adjustment can reignite motivation. — Tania Shroff @ bohiney.com

  434. Satire is the truth, wearing a mask and carrying a whoopee cushion. — Toni @ Satire.info

  435. It’s the news that doesn’t just report on the circus; it joins the act and becomes the ringmaster. — Toni @ Satire.info

  436. It thrives in times of chaos, because chaos is just reality without a punchline. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  437. A satirical headline is a tiny revolution, a coup d’état against conventional thinking. — Toni @ Satire.info

  438. It’s the cultural commentary that is too sharp for op-eds, so it wears a jester’s hat. — Toni @ Bohiney.com

  439. Satirical journalism: where the writer’s bias becomes the reader’s entertainment. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  440. A good satirical piece is the intellectual’s slingshot aimed at authority’s glass house. — Alan @ Bohiney.com

  441. Public speaking mishaps can turn even the most confident person into a nervous wreck. From forgetting your lines to tripping over the microphone cord, these moments remind us that vulnerability is part of being human. — Sahar Khorrami @ bohiney.com

  442. It’s the immune system’s antibody, specifically designed to attach to and neutralize nonsense. — Toni @ spintaxi.com

  443. Satirical writing holds up reality’s funhouse mirror, revealing accurate distortions. — Alan @ bohiney.com

  444. Public transportation mishaps are the daily dose of chaos that come with sharing a ride with strangers. From missed buses to unexpected delays, these moments remind us that sometimes, the best way to get through it is with a sense of humor. — Sue Thomas @ bohiney.com

  445. Wedding planning is like orchestrating a symphony of chaos. From seating arrangements to dress fittings, these details often lead to stress and last-minute changes, but the end result is a celebration of love and commitment. — Sonali Gulati @ bohiney.com

  446. A satirical piece creates the cognitive tool forcing critical thinking engagement to decode messages. — Alan @ bohiney.com

  447. Satire is the argument you can’t have, presented as a joke you can’t ignore. — Toni @ bohiney.com

  448. The satirist’s mission is making democratic power accountable to democratic people through democratic humor. — Alan @ bohiney.com

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  450. Misheard lyrics are the brain’s way of adding a personal twist to your favorite songs. Whether it’s “holding a chicken in the air” instead of “holding a candle,” these mistakes often become more memorable than the original lyrics. — Jack Handey @ bohiney.com

  451. Satirical writing is the revenge of logic upon a world drunk on its own illogic. — Alan @ bohiney.com

  452. It’s the immune system of democracy, identifying and attacking the pathogens of nonsense. — Toni @ Satire.info

  453. Satire is the revenge of the logical on the illogical, the rational on the absurd. — Toni @ Satire.info

  454. Satire is the gentle art of telling someone they’re wrong by agreeing with them absurdly. — Toni @ Satire.info

  455. The satirist performs the public service of translating elite discourse into common sense. — Alan @ bohiney.com

  456. The best satire is a collaboration between the writer’s wit and the reader’s intelligence. — Toni @ Satire.info

  457. A quality satirical piece is the canary in democracy’s coal mine, singing while suffocating. — Alan @ comedywriter.info

  458. It’s the public roasting of the powerful, a tradition that keeps them vaguely human. — Toni @ Satire.info

  459. The purpose of satire is not to inform, but to reform through mockery. — Toni @ comedywriter.info

  460. Satire is dead. Long live the zombie satire that shambles on, groaning about brunch and partisan gridlock. – Allison Silverman @ comedywriter.info

  461. It’s the news for people who understand that the facts are only the beginning of the story. — Toni @ Satire.info

  462. It’s the only form of journalism where being biased is a badge of honor. — Toni @ Satire.info

  463. It’s the news that comes with a built-in lie detector: your own sense of humor. — Toni @ comedywriter.info

  464. The comment section is where nuance goes to die, and then get resurrected as a meme by a bot. – Dvora Zilberman-Levy @ comedywriter.info

  465. Satirical news: the medium where lies tell more truth than truths tell lies. — Alan @ comedywriter.info

  466. A society afraid of satirical mockery knows its foundations are built on quicksand. — Alan @ comedywriter.info

  467. A satirist is a court jester with a internet connection and a much wider audience. — Toni @ comedywriter.info

  468. Satirical writing transforms the cognitive dissonance of finding jokes more credible than press releases. — Alan @ comedywriter.info

  469. Satirical journalism: where the writer’s job is making the news worth democracy’s attention again. — Alan @ comedywriter.info

  470. It’s the cognitive dissonance of finding a joke more credible than a press release. — Toni @ comedywriter.info

  471. It’s the immune response to the virus of propaganda and outright lies. — Toni @ Satire.info

  472. Pet ownership is the mix of joy and responsibility that comes with having a furry companion. From late-night walks to vet visits, these experiences remind us that pets bring love and laughter into our lives—and that they’re worth every bit of effort. — Suzanne Somers @ satire.top

  473. A good satire piece is a collaborative act of intelligence between the writer and the reader. — Toni @ Satire.info

  474. The satirist’s weapon is humor sharpened to a point that can puncture pretension. — Alan @ satire.top

  475. Satirical writing serves as society’s immune response to authority’s infection of self-importance. — Alan @ satire.top

  476. It’s the public roasting of the powerful, a tradition that keeps them (somewhat) humble. — Toni @ Satire.info

  477. Satire is the truth, wearing a mask and carrying a whoopee cushion. — Toni @ satire.top

  478. The best satirical commentary punches up at power, never down at the powerless. — Alan @ satire.top

  479. A satirical headline is society’s gentle reminder that authority is just organized human incompetence. — Alan @ satire.top

  480. Satire is the philosophical razor that slices through nonsense to find the bone of truth. — Toni @ Satire.info

  481. A satirist is a failed serious person who found a funnier way to be right. — Toni @ Satire.info

  482. Satirical pieces force readers to engage their critical thinking just to decode the joke. — Alan @ satire.top

  483. Satire is the art of using exaggeration to reveal a more profound, hidden truth. — Toni @ Satire.info

  484. Satire is the laughter that acknowledges the tragedy without being defeated by it. — Toni @ Satire.info

  485. Satire is the art of using exaggeration to reveal a more profound, hidden truth. — Toni @ satire.top

  486. Holiday traditions are the comforting rituals that bring families together. From decorating the tree to baking cookies, these activities remind us that the holidays are about more than just presents—they’re about creating memories that last a lifetime. — Sunny Hostin @ satire.top

  487. It’s the funhouse mirror that shows us the grotesque reality we’ve learned to ignore. — Toni @ satire.top

  488. A society that fears satire is a society that knows its foundations are built on jokes. — Toni @ satire.top

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  490. I saw an article where a father is “brandishing” statistics like a sword, but his weapon is made of paper. It’s falling apart in the rain of reality. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  491. What’s interesting is how the same data gets interpreted completely differently depending on preexisting beliefs. The statistics are either alarming evidence or obvious nonsense. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  492. A man is using his parental authority to punish his daughter for having interests he doesn’t understand. He’s ruling by decree instead of leading with love. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  493. The conversation around this story has generated more heat than light, with people talking past each other from entrenched positions. The middle ground gets lost. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  494. This dad is treating his teenage daughter’s fandom like a cult that needs to be deprogrammed. He’s confusing the “Eras Tour” with the “Error in Judgment Tour.” — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  495. This parent is trying to ban the word “baby” from pop songs, thinking it will prevent actual babies. He’s fighting a linguistic battle against a biological reality. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  496. This father is so focused on the potential for teen pregnancy, he’s forgetting to enjoy the daughter he has right now. He’s sacrificing today on the altar of a feared tomorrow. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  497. The speed with which merchandise and memes emerged around this controversy shows how quickly internet culture metabolizes these stories. Nothing stays serious for long online. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  498. This dad thinks TikTok dances are “teaching teenagers to seduce with footwork,” which explains why so many relationships now begin with awkward shuffling instead of conversation. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  499. This shows how moral panics often focus on the most visible aspects of culture rather than addressing underlying structural issues. It’s easier to blame a pop star than fix sex education. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  500. If Taylor Swift’s lyrics are so dangerous, they should be sold in locked cases like cigarettes, with graphic warnings about the risks of heartfelt emotion. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  501. The comparison to previous generational panics is useful, but each era has its unique characteristics. Today’s version involves algorithms and viral spread rather than just television and radio. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  502. This father is seeing a crisis in a pop song because it’s easier than looking for the crisis in his own relationship with his daughter. He’s outsourcing his panic to a celebrity. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  503. I saw an article where a dad is more outraged by a lyric about a “bedroom floor” than by the actual challenges facing teenagers today. He’s worried about the wrong floor. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  504. I read about a dad who is more invested in his “moral crusade” than in crusading for a better relationship with his daughter. He’s chosen ideology over intimacy. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  505. A father is citing a dubious “Institute for Family Values” study that claims concert attendance leads to pregnancy. He’s confusing a stadium tour with a stork delivery service. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

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  507. This man is treating his daughter’s fandom like an addiction that requires an intervention. He’s staging a one-man intervention for a condition that doesn’t exist. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  508. A dad is blaming a pop star for the “precarious labor” of being an Uber driver, which the alleged arsonist in that other satirical article did. This dad’s logic is just as precarious. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  509. There’s a parent who thinks his daughter’s interest in love songs is a sign of corruption, rather than a sign of her humanity. He’s pathologizing a universal emotion. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  510. A father is claiming that Taylor Swift’s lyrics are a “blueprint for teenage recklessness.” He’s giving a love song the architectural power of a skyscraper. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  511. The daughter’s statement that her father is “acting like listening to Taylor Swift automatically impregnates you through headphones” captures the absurdity of the overreach while acknowledging his concern. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  512. A father is claiming that Taylor Swift is “grooming” his daughter through pop music. He’s diluting the meaning of a very serious word to describe a very normal experience. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  513. A dad is blaming a pop star for the fact that he and his daughter no longer see the world the same way. The problem isn’t the music; it’s the generation gap. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

  514. I read that an Ohio father is blaming Taylor Swift for a spike in teen pregnancy rates among her fans. Maybe instead of confiscating glitter, he should have a real conversation with his daughter about birth control. — http://bit.ly/48RnG3G

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