کۆچەر عبدالرحمان سۆفی
(ئەم چیرۆکە ڕاستەقینەیەو لەیەکێک لە شارەکانی کوردستان روویداوە لە ساڵانی 1990_2000)
من ههنارم ههر به منداڵیهوه و دوور له سۆزى دایكایهتی و باوكایهتى و بێ ئهوهی یهك ڕۆژ یادهوهریم لهگهڵیان ههبێت ژیانم بهڕێكردووه، وهك تاقانهیهك لهلایهن باپیرمهوه نێردرامه قوتابخانه، باپیرم سۆزى باوكایهتى و بگره جێی دایكیشمی بۆ پركردبوومهوه، ئهم خۆشهویستى و سۆزهى باپیریشم ماوهیهكى زۆر كهم بوو بههۆى نهخۆشییهوه كۆچی دوایی كرد، بهمردنى باپیرم كهلێنێكى گهوره لهژیانمدا درووستبوو، لهڕووى سۆزو و خۆشهویستییهوه كاریگهرییهكى زۆرى لهسهرم ههبوو، ههرچۆنێك بێت قهدهرى ژیان وابوو. نهنكم بوو بهههموو كهسێك بۆ من ، وهك پیاوێكى بوێر ئیشی دهرهوهى دهكردوو وهك ئافرهتێكى دهستڕهنگین و ئازاش كارهكانى ماڵهوهی ئهنجام دهدا، بهبێ ئهوهى هیچ كهم و كورتییهكیان ههبێت.
له گهڵ ماندووبوونهكانی نهنكمدا منیش گهورهدهبووم ههرچهنده خوێندهوارى نهبوو، بهڵام زۆر هاوكارى دهكردم و هانى دهدام تا خوێندن تهواو بكهم بۆ خوێندنى وانهكانم دهچوومه لاى دراوسێكان تا وانهم پێ بڵێن، ههستم بهزهردهخهنهی هاوڕێكانم ئهكرد گاڵتهیان پێ دهكرم، چونكه لهكاتى قسهكردن زمانم دهگیرا، بهڵام زۆر زیرهك بووم له قوتابخانه مامۆستاكان زۆریان خۆشدهویستم، نمرهكانم زۆر بهرزبوون، دڵم خهم دایدهگرت كاتێك هاوڕێكانم گاڵتهیان به جلو بهرگ و پێڵاوهكانم دهكرد كه دڕابوون، یان كه باس ئههاته سهر باوك ئهوانیش ئهیانوت تۆ باوكت نیه؟ بهم قسانه زۆر بێزار دهبووم بهگریانهوه دهچوومه لاى نهنكم و دهموت : بۆ منیش وهك ئهم منداڵانه باوكم نیه جلى جوانم بۆ بكڕێت؟؟ بمبات بۆ قوتابخانه، نهنكیشم به میهرهبانیهوه فرمێسكهكانمی ئهسڕی وئهیوت: باوكى تۆ لهبهههشته تۆى ئامانهتى خودا دواتر منی كردوویت.
ههرچهنده نهنكم زۆر نهخۆش بوو ڕۆژ به رۆژ ، باروودۆخى زۆر خراپتر دهبوو ئهوهنده ههژار بووین پارهی سهردانی دوكتۆرمان نهبوو، بۆیه خهونى بوون بهدكتۆرم له سهرمدا چهكهرهی كرد تا چارهسهری نهنكم بكهم كه جێی ههموو كهسم بوو لهم ژیانهدا. ڕۆژگار تێپهڕى ئهویش كۆچی دواییكرد، بۆشاییهكى گهورهی لهدڵمدا درووستكرد، زۆر نائومێد بووم نهمدهزانى هانا بۆ كێ بهرم و چی بكهم؟
ههمیشه نزام دهكردو دهموت: خوایه گیان ڕێگام نیشان بده من تهنها كهسێكم ههبوو ئهویشت بردهوه لاى خۆت سهرهڕای ئهم خهم و ناخۆشیانه ههمیشه سوپاسگوزار بووم بهتهنها لهماڵێكدا دهژیام دراوسێیهكمان ناوى “پوره نهسرین” بووجار جار سهردانی ئهكردم، خواردنى بۆ دههێنام زۆر دڵم پێی خۆش بوو، چونكه وهك بهشێك له خێزانهكهى خۆى سهیرى دهكردم، بهڵام ئهمهش زۆرى نهخایاند ئهم دراوسێیهیان كوڕێكیان ههبوو، ههوڵی نزیكبوونهوهى ئهدا، زۆر لێی دهترسام ویستم بهدایكى بڵێم كه كوڕهكهت ههراسانم دهكات، ترسام كه پوره نهسرین دڵى بشكێت، دوو سێ جار كوڕهكهم ئاگاداركردهوه وتم: بهدایكت دهڵێم بهڵام بێ سوود بوو.
شهوێكیان ئهم كوڕه هاته ماڵمان و دهستدرێژى كرده سهرم زۆر لێیپاڕامهوه داواى یارمهتیم كرد بهڵام بێ سوود بوو، پێی وتم: گهر لاى كهسێك باسی بكهیت ئهتكوژم، شهوو ڕۆژ دهگریام بارودۆخم زۆر تێكچوو، ناچار چوومه لاى پوره نهسرین ههموو شتێكم بۆ باسكرد وتم: بهم بارودۆخهش ڕازى بووم كورهكهتان شكۆى منى لهكهدار كردووه بابێت مارهمبكات نهوهك خهڵك پێم بزانێت، بهچاوێكى ناشیرین سهیرم ئهكرێت، كوڕهكه نكۆڵی لێ كرد گوایه درۆیه شتى واى نهكردوه، پوره نهسرین پشتى كورهكهى خۆى دهگرت وتى: من بوكێكى لاڵی وهك تۆم بۆچییه؟ دونیا سهراوژێر بوو لهبهرچاوم كهس باوهڕى پێم نهكرد بهچاوى پڕ گریانهوه وتم: من ئێوهم ڕادهستى خودا كردووه، ناچار دهبوو ئهو شوێنه بهجێبێڵم نهمدهزانى بۆ كوێ بڕۆم بێكهس بێ شوێن بێ ڕێگا دهڕۆشتم، نانهواخانهیهكم بینى نوسرابوو كه كهسێكمان دهوێت بۆ كاركردن، خۆم کرد بهنانهواخانهكهو بهڵام ئهوان وتیان، تۆخانمیت ئێمه كوڕمان دهوێت قبووڵیان نهكرد كارم پێبدهن، زۆر گهڕام بۆ كار بهڵام كهس قبووڵی نهبوو كار بدات بهئافرهتێك، له پێناوى پهیداكردنى نانێكى حهڵال، بڕیارمدا قژه جوانهكهم ببڕم، جلى كوڕانه لهبهربكهم ، چوومهوه بۆ نانهواخانهكه وتم: هاتووم ئیش بكهم، خاوهنى نانهوا خانهكه تۆزێك سهیرى كردمو لێم وردبوهوه زۆر دهترسام بزانێت كچم، نانهواكه وتی: قهت ئیشت كردووه ؟ وتم: بهڵێ، خاوهن نانهواكه وتى: وهره ئهم نانه لهتهنورهكه دهربێته، كهمێك شارهزاییم ههبوو لهنان برژاندن داپیرهم تهنوورێكى بچووكى ههبوو جار جاره هاوكاریم دهكرد سهرهتا نانهكه دهسووتا چونكه تهنورهكه زۆر گهرم بوو ، دواتر ورده وردە فێرى كارهكه بووم تا ئێواره داهات ، بهخاوهن نانهوهكهم وت: من شوێنێكم نییه لێی بمێنمهوه غهریبهم ئهویش وتى: دهتوانى لێره له نانهواخانهكه بمێنیتهوه، زۆر دڵم خۆشبوو، ههرچهند شوێنهكه زۆر باش نهبوو، بهڵام لانیكهم شوێنێك ههبوو لێی بمێنمهوه بهیانیان زوو ههڵدهستام ههویرم دهشێلا… تا وایلێهات وهستا عهلى زۆر لێم ڕازى بوو، ڕۆژێكیان وهستا عهلی پێی وتم كوڕى خۆم تۆ خوێندنت تهواو كردووه؟ منیش وتم تا پۆلی پێنجى ئامادهییم خوێندوه، بهڵام زروفهكه واى دهخواست كه واز بهێنم خاوهنى نانهواكه زۆر پیاوێكى باش بوو زۆر هاوكارى دهكردم وتى: یهك قۆناغت ماوه دهتوانى بخوێنیت و كاریش بكهی؟ یهكسهى وتم بهڵێ، چونكه من زۆر زیرهك بووم لهخوێندن خهونم ههبوو دهمویست ببم بهدوكتۆرێكى سهركهوتوو نهنكم كه نهخۆش بوو بهڵێنم پێدابوو ببم بهدوكتۆر دهمویست ئهم بهڵێنه بهرمه سهر، ههم كارم دهكرد ههمیش دهمخوێند تا واملێهات نمرهیهكى زۆر بهرزم هێنا لهكولێژی پزیشكى وهرگیرام بهو پارهیهی له نانهواخانهكه كۆم كردبووهوه كۆلێژم بهڕێكرد ورده وردهش ههر كارم دهكرد بهڵام زۆر قورس ژیانم بهڕێكرد بێ هیوا نهبووم ڕۆڵی ئافرهت و پیاوم دهگێڕا ترس لهوهى بزانن من ئافرهتم درۆم لهگهڵیاندا كردووه زۆر منى دهترسان زۆر جار شهرم دایدهگرتم بهخۆم دهوت پێیان بڵێم من ئافرهتم بهڵام چی وهڵامى وهستا على بدهم، دهترسام لهوهى كه ئهوان ههڵوێستیان چى دهبێت كه وهك باوك و برام وابوون ترسام لهوهى دهرمبكهن، بڕیارم دا سوپاسی خاوهن نانهواكه بكهم و وازبهێنم، مام حاجى وتى باشه كچى خۆم! خوا ئاگادارت بێت دهستم ماچ كردو داواى گهردن ئازاییم لێكرد بهدهم ڕێگا دهڕۆیشتم بیرم كردهوه وتم : خۆ ئهو بهمنى وت كچى خۆم؟ دهموت لهوانهیه زانیبێتى كچم وتم: ئهى بۆ منى دهرنهكرد؟ ههر ئهم پرسیارهم لهخۆم دهكرد ههندێك جاریش دهموت نانا من بهههڵه گوێم لێ بووه.
زهمهن دهڕۆی لهبهرئهوهى لهزانكۆ یهكهم بووم ڕاستهوخۆ لهنهخۆشخانهیهكى تایبهت دامهزرام ئیتر بووم به خاوهنی خانوو و كارى خۆم سوپاس بۆ خوا، بهڵام زۆر جار دهڵێم خۆزگه زووتر دهبووم بهدوكتۆر تا نهخۆشیهكهى داپیرهم چارهسهر بكردایه، ئهمه قهدهرى خوا بوو، ڕۆژێكیان له نهخۆشخانه بووم پیره پیاوێك هات بۆلام زۆر حاڵى خراپ بوو سهیرم دهكرد غهریب نهبوو لهپێش چاوم، سهیرى فایلهكهیم كرد لێی نوسرابوو عهلى ئهو وهستا عهلییه بوو كه من لهنانهوا خانهكهى كارم دهكرد، زۆر پیر بببو ڕیش و پرچی وهك بهفرى لێ هاتبوو، نهم دهناسیهوه نهخۆشیهكى زۆر قورسی ههبوو، بهزوترین كات پێویستى بهنهشتهرگهرى بوو، مام على تهندرووستی زۆر خراپ بوو كاتم نهبوو بڵێم من فڵانه كهسم تا بهزووترین كات باش ببێت، چونكه چاكهى زۆرى ههبوو بۆم، وهك باوك وابوو وتم دهبێت نهشتهرگهرى بۆ بكرێت كوڕهكهى وتى : ئهم بڕه پارهیهمان نییه، دواتر زانیم مام على نانهواخانهكهى سووتابوو زیانێكى زۆر بهرخۆى و نانهواخانهكهى كهوتبوو، كرێی نهشتهرگهرییهكم گرته ئهستۆى خۆم بهكوڕهكهى ئهویشم وت: نهخۆشخانهكه بێ بهرامبهر بۆی دهكات، یهك كاتژمێر مابوو بچمه ژورى نهشتهرگهرى دهستم بۆ خودا بهرز كردهوه وتم : خوایه بهسهلامهت نهجاتى ببێت دوعاى خێرم بۆ مام عهلى كردو ورهم بهخۆمدا دواى ئهوهى نهشتهرگهریهكهی ئهنجامدا سوپاس بۆ خوا سهركهوتوو بوو ههموو ڕۆژێك سهرم لێدا تا بزانم بارودۆخى تهندروستى مام عهلى ههر ئهو مام عهلیهى جاران بوو زۆر پیاوێكى بهڕێزو میهرهبان بوو ههمیشه دوعاى بۆ دهكردم من زوو زوو دهچووم بۆ لاى مام عهلى تا بارودۆخى باش ببێت ورده ورده بارودۆخى باش دهبوو سوپاس بۆ خوا كۆتا ڕۆژى مام على بوو لهنهخۆشخانه كوڕهكهى مام على كه ناوى ئاكام بوو هات بۆ ژوورهكهم و سوپاسی كردم وتى ئێمه دهڕۆین، من چووم بۆ لاى سهیری مام عهلیم دهكرد چاوم پڕ ئاو دهبوو، وهك منداڵێك دهستم بهگریان كرد حهزم نهدهكرد بڕوات، چونكه وهك باوكم وابوو ،یهكسهر مام على وتى : دوكتۆره بۆچى دهگریت نهمدهتوانى وهڵامی بدهمهوه، وتم دهزانى من كێم؟ وتى بهڵێ تۆ ئهو دوكتۆرهى نهشتهرگهریت بۆكردم زۆر سوپاس كچى خۆم، وتم نا من ئهو شاگردهی تۆ بووم لهنانهواخانهك پێنج ساڵ كارم كردوه لات، ئهویش چاوى پڕ ئاو بوو باوهشی پێدا كردم وتى كچم ههنار تۆى زۆرم پێ سهیر بوو كهچۆن دهزانێت من ناوم ههناره، وتم : مام عهلى چۆن ناوم دهزانى وتى: كچم كه لهنانهواخانهكه كارت دهكرد ڕۆژێك دهفتهرى ژیانتم بینى كه خۆت نوسیبووتهوه ببوره كه خوێندومهتهوه بهڵام بهرچاوم كهوت، من زۆر شانازیم پێوه دهكردیت، چونكه ههوڵتدهدا لهسهر قاچی خۆت بوهستى، من نهمویست پێت بڵێم گهر بێ بهرامبهر هاوكاریم كردباى قبوڵت نهدهكرد من تۆم باش دهناسی، بهڵام تۆ ههمیشه وهك كچم وابووى من ئهو ڕابردووه تاڵهى خۆم بیركهوتهوه كهس نازانێت من چیم چهشتووه بهچیدا تێپهڕیووم مام عهلى ههموو شتێكی دهربارهى من دەزانى .
زوو زوو سهردانى ئهوانم دهكرد لهبارودۆخى ئهوانم دهپرسی بڕه پارهیهكم دا بهمام على سهرهتا قبووڵى نهكرد، بهڵام من وتم: ئهم پارهیه بۆ نۆژهنكردنهوهى نانهواخانهكهیه، چونكه ئهم نانهواخانهیه منى پێگهیاند، وتم: با گهنجى تر سوودی لێ ببینن كارى تێدا بكهن.
ماوهیهك تێپهڕى مام على كوڕێكى ههبوو وهك خۆى میهرهبان وتى: كچى خۆم بۆ نایهی ببیت به بووكم منیش سهرم شۆڕ كرد سهرى بڵند كردم وتى: تۆ دهبێت سهرت بڵند بێت، چونكه تۆ كچێكى ئازابوویت تا گهیشتویت بهم ڕێگایه وتم: من ناتوانم شوو بكهم مافم نییه ژیانی كوڕهكهشت تێك دهدهم من دهگریام چوومه دهرهوه لهحهوشهكه دانیشتم، چونكه ئهوهى كوڕى پوره نهسرین بهسهر منى هێنا كهمنهبوو، نهمدهتوانى ببم بهخاوهنى خێزانى خۆم دهترسام لهوهى بۆ ههر كهسێك باسی بكهم باوهڕم پێ نهكهن منیان نهوێت، ئاكام كوڕى مام عهلى هات بۆ لام وتى: دهزانم ڕابردووت چى ڕوویداوه دهزانم لهناخت چی دهگوزهرێت من ڕازیم بهههموو ڕابردوویهكت وهره پهڕهیهكى نوێ ههڵدهینهوه، ئاكام كوڕێكى زۆر سادهو میهرهبان بوو دواى ماوهیهك هاوسهرگیریمان كرد زۆر ههوڵیدهدا دڵم خۆش بكات، خودا ئاكامى هێنا بۆ نێو ژیانم قهرهبووى ههموو ئهو ناخۆشیانهى بۆ كردمهوه، ڕۆژێك بڕیارمدا بچم بۆ ئهو شوێنهى كه لێی گهوره ببوم ئاكام سهرهتا ڕازى نهبوو، لهگهڵم بێت وتى ڕابردووت بیردهكهوێتهوه، بهڵام من ئازایهتى خۆم كۆكردهوه بڕیارم داو ئاكامیش لهگهڵم هات. كهچووم خانووهكهمان ڕووخا بوو، هیچ شتێك وهك خۆى نهمابوو، لهناكاو ژنێك رهتبوو وتم،: ئهى ماڵى پوره نهسرین و كوڕهكهى چییان بهسهر هاتووه، وتى كورشهكهیان له ڕووداوێك ئیفلیج بووه، دایكیشی لهخهمى كوڕهكهى جهڵده لێیداوە، سهرهڕاى ئهمانه دڵم بۆ پووره نهسرین ژانى دهكرد، چونكه وهك دایكم وابوو من ئهوانم ڕادهستى خودا كردبوو، چونكه دهمزانى خودا حهقی كهس بهسهر كهسهوه ناهێڵێت، بڕیارماندا شوێنی خانوهكهی نهنكم بكهینه نهخۆشخانه، بۆ ههموان خۆبهخش بێت، بهڵكو خودا لێمانى قبووڵ بکات خێرهكهى بۆ نهنكم بێت، نهخۆشخانهكهم بهناوى داپیرهمهوه ناونا، پاش دوو سالً خودا كوڕێكى جوانى پێبهخشیم ناومنا هیوا، چونكه بێ هیوا نهبووم، سهرهڕاى ئهم ناخۆشیانه ههر شوكرانهى خودام دهكرد، خودا بهدوعا قهدهرى منى گۆڕى، لهژیاندا هیچ شتێك بهناوى مهحال بوونى نییه، ههموو شتێكیش لهسهرەتا بهخهونێك دهستپێدهكات نابێت بێ هیوا بین، توانیم خهونهكهى خۆم و ئهو بهڵێنهى به نهنكمم دابوو بهجێ بگهیهنم بۆیه لهبهزهیی خودا بێ هیوا مهبن.
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